Let's Blame the Heat
by 6Dylan9
Summary: Santana would like to blame the heat, but it's much more than that; it's all Brittany. Brittany/Santana.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The sticky air fell thickly around Santana's shoulders as she dabbed at her forehead with her towel, cursing the heat and the excessive training Sue had bullied them into. It's not that she really minded the training – it's what made them better, perfect, the best after all – but this was silly, and beginning to annoy her. For a week Sue had pushed and pushed, and Santana's muscles were feeling the strain.

The heat wasn't helping. It was ridiculously hot outside and her head was beginning to spin as sweat dripped from her brow into her eyes – which was gross and so not something she needed everybody else seeing. Not that they weren't all sweating buckets too, but the point was . . . she needed to cool down, and she needed to do it now.

"Are we done yet? This is crazy," Santana asked abruptly as Sue placed her megaphone down and wiped at her own brow.

"We're never done, Lopez," Sue chastised. "There's only pain, pain, and more pain, now give me a lap of the track before I find a new use for you in the squad as my personal foot massager."

Santana pulled a face and Brittany chuckled behind her, making Santana even more pissed, and hot, and very close to the end of her already extremely short fuse.

"Anybody else feel the strange desire to question my wealth of experience in shaping your disastrous bodies into lean, mean, cheerleading machines?" Sue asked, narrowing her eyes before anybody even took a breath. "No, I didn't think so. Hop to it, Lopez."

She nodded her head towards the track and Santana felt the urge to grab the nearby megaphone and shove it into Sue's mouth the wrong way around, but she held back, clenching her fists tight as she stormed towards the track to run a lap of it as punishment for daring to cross Sue Sylvester.

"I have something to say," Brittany suddenly uttered, raising her hand and causing Santana and the rest of the Cheerios to stare at her in fear for her safety, and possibly in question of her already dubious sanity. "I think it's hot, and heat . . . makes things melt. What if we all melt? We can't cheer if we're all melty, like . . . melted cheese. But I guess I like cheese."

Santana sighed and shook her head, but she couldn't help feel a small smile tug at her lips at Brittany's obvious attempt to 'get into trouble' alongside her. They did everything together, including dealing with Sue.

"I'm going to overlook that, my strangely challenged little Cheerio," Sue said, giving Brittany a look that conveyed more than just pity. "But I will no longer tolerate all the giggling and holding hands in the face of failure – you two are on my list."

Brittany gave Santana a puzzled look but Santana was just as clueless so gave a shrug and tried not to start obsessing over what Sue meant by hand holding and lists. Of course, obsess was exactly what she'd do, but Santana wasn't too keen on facing the possible truth in Sue's warning, even if it was something she'd already been thinking about.

It was true that she and Brittany were inseparable, and that lately they'd become so used to being together that they'd do silly things like hold hands, or play with each other's hair, or stroke exposed skin, or . . . any number of things that probably looked somewhat suspect. But it was just natural for Santana and Brittany and had evolved without thought or intention. Obviously Sue had noticed, and Sue didn't seem pleased.

"You. Track," Sue said gruffly, pointing to Santana. "And you lot, hit the showers, you're clouding my vision with your profusion of teenage sweat. Remind me to hold a seminar on inappropriate secretions before the weekend; this just isn't good enough."

She grabbed her megaphone from the ground and stormed away with a scowl as the Cheerios gave a sigh of relief and followed forlornly.

A shower sounded really good right now – an ice cold shower that would freeze the sting in Santana's tired muscles as well as cool her skin, and help with the uncomfortable, bothersome itch inside her recently that she could find no way to scratch.

But her shower would have to wait; a slow lap of the track greeted her as everybody but Brittany filed back into the air conditioned comfort of the school. Just knowing that Brittany was waiting for her made Santana feel better, and caused her to quicken her pace from just above that of a crawl.

Glancing back to where Brittany had found a seat on a shady part of the bleachers, Santana found herself wondering why they'd become even closer in the last few months. They'd always been close, from the very beginnings of their friendship when Brittany had tripped over Santana's bag on their first day at the same highschool. It had been Santana's instinct to mock the girl at first for being so clumsy, but Brittany had looked so scared and out of place that Santana just couldn't bring herself to be cruel.

She'd apologised for the bag being in the way instead, earning her bemused looks from friends who knew her better. Friends who would soon find themselves replaced by the dorky blonde girl who seemed to have a heart as open as it was possible to be.

They were complete opposites, in every way, but they worked together. Brittany metaphorically gave Santana's harsh edges some fuzzy pink lining, and Santana gave Brittany . . . well, Santana wasn't really sure what she gave Brittany, but Brittany had been nothing but loyal, caring and sweet to her even when others would have left her and her bad temper behind long ago.

Yep, things had always been different between them, but now more so than ever, and for reasons that Santana was scared to dwell on.

Lately their friendship had shifted, changed, taken on a strange shape as every look, smile and touch seemed to mean something more. Something new.

As she rounded the bend of the track so that she was jogging towards Brittany, Santana felt her gaze fall on the distant glow of blonde hair and the familiar curves under the even more familiar red, white and black of Brittany's Cheerio uniform. She'd found herself looking differently at Brittany lately, though she had been avoiding the reason why; terrified of what it would mean for not only her, but also for their friendship. Every day it grew harder to ignore the growing need inside her. A need that both shocked and excited her. A need that was driving her insane as she now allowed her mind to wander as she ran; thinking about how physically close they'd been getting, and how much she enjoyed this new element of their friendship.

As much as she tried not to think about it and let it work her up to a point she couldn't stand, it was bound to happen and seemingly impossible to stop. Santana knew what it was she was feeling and it made her stomach tighten and her lungs squeeze even harder than the running was already causing. She wanted Brittany. Wanted her body, her lips, her touch, as more than a friend.

With fear settling heavily on her shoulders, Santana stumbled over her own feet as she jogged towards the end of her lap. Before she could stop herself she was tumbling forwards onto her hands and grazing her knees on the rough surface of the running track.

"San!" Brittany called out, leaping from the bleachers and running towards Santana, who felt decidedly stupid for tripping over her own feet.

"Idiot," Santana called herself, sitting heavily on her backside and brushing down her now sore knees. "Idiot, idiot, idiot."

Of course, she meant she was an idiot for more than just falling over, and as Brittany approached at breakneck speed she wanted to find the nearest dark hole and crawl into it to get away from her thoughts, and her friend.

Santana thought that maybe if they weren't joined at the hip the feelings and wild ideas might disappear, but she knew that was probably wishful thinking, and knew that things had gone too far now for her to hide. There was no hiding from the things she wanted from Brittany; even though she knew she could never share her thoughts with her friend. Brittany could never know that her sweet nature was being twisted in Santana's head into something more. That the innocent touches and hugs had been warped into something else by Santana's out of control libido.

"Are you ok?" Brittany asked as she caught up to Santana.

She offered Santana a hand, but Santana refused to take it. She felt stupid, and she felt rotten for betraying Brittany's trust.

"Do I look ok?" Santana snapped. "I'm hot, sore, confused, angry, and hot."

Pushing herself up from the floor, Santana refused to even look at Brittany. She couldn't take that worried little expression she'd give her, or the cute furrow to her brow. It was too much. Too confusing and close, and just . . . too Brittany.

"You said hot twice," Brittany pointed out unnecessarily.

"Well, I'm very, completely, ridiculously hot," Santana snapped further. "This weather is retarded."

Scrambling to her feet as Brittany lowered her hand back to her side, Santana practically growled as she brushed dirt from her skirt.

"That's not nice," Brittany said innocently. "It's not the weather's fault you're hot."

With her hands on her hips, Santana furrowed her brow at Brittany in confusion.

"How is it not the weather's fault?" she asked.

"You're always hot, even when it's not sunny, and when it's cold out," Brittany answered.

Rubbing her brow and failing to understand, Santana took a deep breath. Her irritation was growing and she knew she had to go somewhere quiet, away from the sun, away from school, and away from Brittany to deal with it.

"Brittany, what are you talking about? I'm not always hot, especially not in winter."

"You're always hot to me," Brittany explained shyly, further confusing Santana.

They stood in silence for a few moments, awkwardly, as Santana tried to figure out what Brittany meant exactly, and as Brittany just stood smiling as if she'd said nothing at all. There was the possibility that Brittany had misconstrued what Santana had meant by the word hot, but that would mean that Brittany was paying her some kind of compliment. Or maybe she just hadn't understood at all, and thought that Santana expected her to agree with calling herself hot, or face her wrath.

"Can we go inside now?" Brittany asked as Santana continued to stand and glower. "I'm all sweaty."

She said it innocently enough, but imagining all kinds of clinches she could possibly have with Brittany that would involve getting sweaty in a much nicer way, Santana forced herself not to just blurt out to Brittany that they should go take a nice cool, naked shower together. It would probably cause Brittany to run screaming from the school in fear, and anyway . . . Santana wasn't quite ready to fully explore her new fantasy. She was still freaking out about how she was feeling, and she didn't need Brittany freaking out with her.

Brittany was supposed to be the calmer of them both. She was meant to keep things level – it's how it had been since the very beginning of their friendship. If Brittany flipped out, that would leave Santana flailing, and she was flailing enough already. Santana needed Brittany to remain as her anchor. Her steadying hand. She couldn't lose that.

With slightly grazed knees, Santana led Brittany into the gym. By the time they undressed and entered the shower area most of the other Cheerios had already dressed again and left. They were alone in the communal shower, and Santana felt panic rising.

Lately, she'd avoided showering at the same time as Brittany; waiting until Brittany had finished, or jumping in before her and showering ridiculously quickly. The small glimpses she'd had of Brittany had always left her even more confused, and unreasonably horny. Just the fleeting glimmer of Brittany's yummy, peach skin as she'd loosely wrap a towel around herself made Santana weak at the knees.

She'd planned to escape dealing with those feelings today, undressing quicker than usual, keeping her head down and eyes away from Brittany, even as Brittany relayed a story about a mouse she'd once found in her shoe. It would be too dangerous to look. Too tempting to let her gaze wander over silky smooth skin and sensual shoulders, long legs and deliciously toned stomach.

Moving swiftly, Santana had rushed into the shower ahead of Brittany before the other girl had even finished undressing. As she turned the shower on and stepped towards the spray, however, Brittany soon followed behind.

Though Santana had never cared before about anybody seeing her naked – after all, naked looked really, really good on her – she tried to hide herself from Brittany. She wanted to press herself against the cool tiles in front of her and hold on to them, hoping they would steady her and keep her safe, hide her from what she wanted and the obvious innocence in Brittany's interest in her. Whatever Santana was feeling, she knew she had to keep from making too much of how Brittany was with her, the way she looked at her and touched her. Brittany was just that kind of open person, and wasn't into Santana in the way Santana now knew she was into Brittany.

She had to keep reminding herself of that. Santana didn't want to screw this friendship up.

Hoping that Brittany chose to shower behind her, she was once again forced to accept that Brittany obviously didn't have a clue about personal space. As Santana allowed the cooling water to splash over her body – keeping her hair away from the spray so she didn't have to spend an age drying it – she bit her tongue when Brittany turned on the shower right next to her. She was standing unreasonably close, oblivious to Santana's inner turmoil and the way her body hummed in Brittany's presence.

It would have been obvious something was amiss if Santana moved away or told Brittany to back off, so she reached for her shower gel – dumping a large amount into her hand - and closed her eyes as she washed away the day's heat. Working quickly, Santana ignored the tuneful humming of her friend and the soft brush of her elbow now and then as she also washed.

She was determined to get through this unscathed, though what Santana most wanted to do was turn to Brittany, grab her and kiss the hell out of her as they tangled together, soapy and naked under the water. It's all she could see, all she could think of, and her heart was racing. Just the idea of having that body on her own, those lips, hands moving over her, tongues fighting for dominance – Santana had to stop thinking so much. She couldn't allow herself to desire Brittany. Not her best friend. Not the girl that thought clouds were cushions for angels, and that had a little section of her garden cordoned off just for the fairies.

It wasn't fair on her.

"Meet you out front," Santana said gruffly as she hurried to rinse the soap away, turn the shower off and make her way to the end of the room where her towel was hanging.

"Ok," Brittany replied cheerfully, unaware as she watched Santana go, giving her a little wave, in all her glorious nude and unabashed . . . glory.

Santana couldn't help but stare at Brittany as she watched her wave, just for a moment. It was long enough to see a dribble of foam slide down that taut stomach towards the very small triangle of blonde between Brittany's legs. It was long enough for her own body to respond – causing a trickle of heat to spread between her own legs. It was long enough to know for certain that Brittany was stunning, and that Brittany was what she wanted, and that Brittany could never, ever know.

"Don't rush," Santana told her, wanting to get out of the locker room before Brittany got out of the shower to dress in front of her. Santana didn't think she could deal with that right now. She desperately needed to cool down.

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Grabbing her towel, Santana wrapped it around herself and left the steam of the shower behind, making her way over to her clothes, patting the water from her tan skin as she went. Maybe she'd set up a date with Puck so she could take the edge of this feeling. So she could push Brittany from her thoughts. But of course, she knew that wouldn't work. She'd already tried that – pushing Puck off her and leaving him thoroughly confused as she got away as quickly as she could.

No, there wasn't another person that could help with this, she'd just have to hope it went away, or hope she could hide it, repress it, kill it dead inside her.

Santana didn't want this. She didn't want to be gay for her friend. It was bad enough that she was a Glee nerd; this was just . . . mortifying.

"San? Did I forget my towel again?" Brittany called from the side of the showers, her head peeking out as she checked to see who was out there.

Santana sighed, spotting Brittany's towel on the bench beside her.

"It's here," Santana replied, picking it up and making her way to take it to Brittany – as any good friend would.

But Brittany – obviously sure that they were alone – walked out from behind the shower, completely naked, so that Santana didn't have to go far.

"Jesus, Brit, do you have to walk around like that?" Santana asked, trying her best not to look, not to notice that Brittany could quite clearly feel the chill of the air conditioning, and quite clearly wasn't bothered about what Santana saw or didn't see.

"Like what?" Brittany asked, looking down at her feet of all things. "Am I doing it wrong?"

She was confused, and the expression on her face made Santana feel a twinge somewhere in her stomach region that made her turn away quickly.

Snatching her clothes, Santana began to dress as speedily as possible, while avoiding looking at her friend. It would have been easier without Brittany chattering on and on about all kinds of things that Santana couldn't keep track of. Every glance she took was torture – a flash of thigh here, a glimpse of butt there. There was no getting away from the fact that Santana thought Brittany was hot. There was no pretending she didn't think it or feel it. But there was no way she would allow herself to indulge in it unfairly.

Leaving no time for Brittany to catch up as she dressed more slowly, Santana threw her bag over her shoulder and headed for the exit, telling Brittany she'd be out in the hall. It was unusual for her to rush off without Brittany at her side, and Brittany gave her another puzzled look. She also looked hurt and Santana felt instantly guilty.

This really wasn't going to be easy, and no matter how much she wished it wasn't true . . . Santana knew their friendship was going to suffer.

Fidgeting with the strap on her bag in the hall as she waited, Santana ignored the few students who gave her a wide berth as they made their way past. Her head was somewhere else. Her thoughts on one person. It wasn't until Puck sidled up beside her that she let her mind drift away from Brittany.

She rolled her eyes at him on instinct and wondered just how stupid – for the hundredth time – she was for ever wasting her time on him. He was clearly into Quinn Fabray in the biggest way, and she had never really liked him as anything much more than a status symbol. After all, he was good looking, and bad-ass enough for the rest of the school to fear him. It had worked for her for a while.

"So, there's a party tomorrow night," Puck started, getting much too close for her liking as he tried to act as if they were still actually into each other. "Wanna come with me?"

He grinned and wiggled his eyes, the innuendo far from subtle.

"Well that'd be a first," she bit, watching his grin fall away.

Puck shuffled his feet, looking somewhat lost now. Maybe a party was what Santana needed though. Somewhere to let go. To just . . . be.

"Whose party?" She asked.

He told her the details before leaving, but she refused to actually agree to go with him to the party. She wasn't about to give him all the wrong signals now; there was no point in barking up that particular tree again. It was all kinds of the wrong one. Anyway, she knew she'd be taking Brittany. Even though it would probably be a mistake right now, it's what they did. They were always together so changing that would only look weird and upset Brittany, and she wanted neither of those things.

They would go together, and Santana would quash the feelings that were getting stronger everyday. She was tough; she could do it.

"I'm hungry," Brittany blurted as she made her way towards Santana.

She only had one sock on and her skirt was twisted, but Santana didn't say anything. Usually, in the morning, Santana would point out the things that Brittany needed to fix in order to look like she hadn't gotten dressed with her eyes closed, but right now she could only smile and nod her head towards the exit, hoping nobody chuckled at Brittany's rumpled appearance as they left; Santana wasn't in the mood for fighting, it was just too hot.

"Your mom at home today?" Santana asked, pulling her car keys from her bag.

Sometimes, if Brittany's mother wasn't going to be home they'd go to Santana's house and raid the fridge. Santana's parents did nothing but work and were rarely home before her, but the fridge was always well stocked.

"Yeah, she's home early today," Brittany replied, twirling a lock of blonde that had fallen from her ponytail. "I told her the cat was reading my diary and not to open my door. I hope she didn't let it in."

Santana ignored the obvious fact that cats couldn't read, choosing to just nod instead. She'd drive Brittany home and then make her way to her own empty house, where cats weren't allowed, and where she'd sit alone in her room, eating whatever she could find whilst thinking about Brittany. It had become a theme.

They drove mainly in silence as Brittany watched the world go by – enjoying the breeze from the open window - and Santana gripped the steering wheel tightly. It would be so easy to drop her hand onto Brittany's thigh. So easy to let her fingernails scratch over her pale skin until Brittany opened her legs and gave her permission to . . .

"Are you ok?" Brittany asked suddenly.

"What?" Santana asked, shaking her head free of her lascivious thoughts. She stole a glance at Brittany and inwardly groaned as Brittany gazed at her with her lower lip between her teeth.

She'd do that when she was worried, or when she'd done something wrong. The last thing Santana wanted was for Brittany to think she'd done anything wrong.

"I'm fine," she finally answered, dragging her gaze back to the road as they neared Brittany's house.

But she didn't sound fine and she knew it. She sounded sharp, angular, and verging on a shade of angry that Brittany hated.

"You don't sound fine," Brittany correctly pointed out, making Santana shuffle in her seat. "I know when you lie to me."

She said it softly, almost sadly as she turned away from Santana again to look out the window. And Santana hated that tone in Brittany's voice. She'd vowed a long time ago not to cause that sound, not to be the one who disappointed Brittany, but it was inevitable right now. She had to lie. She had to make Brittany think that everything really was fine.

"I'm just tired; it's been a long week," Santana muttered.

It was true; it really had been a long week because of Sue Sylvester's crazy schedule, but that wasn't the real reason Santana was so on edge and she hoped Brittany would never guess what the real reason was.

"Did you wanna come in and take a nap with me?" Brittany asked, a small smile making her face light back up as she looked Santana's way.

Santana tried not to notice.

"Nah, I need to get home," she said, not telling Brittany why that might be.

It wasn't like asking if she wanted a nap was anything strange for them. They'd napped together many times, and shared many sleepovers, but recently Santana had found an excuse not to be that close to Brittany. They'd normally share a bed, and though they wouldn't exactly be draped all over each other, just having a stray leg or arm make contact with her right now would drive Santana nuts. It was too risky.

"Ok," Brittany said, sounding sad once again.

Santana wished she could kick herself – possibly with a pair of Kurt's platform shoes – but she couldn't apologize to Brittany or explain her reasons. This was just the way it had to be from now on. Brittany would get used to it and it would give Santana time to get over whatever it was she needed to get over.

As they pulled up outside Brittany's house, Santana tried her best to act natural; to be as gentle and patient with Brittany as she normally was. It wasn't as it if it was Brittany's fault that she could now no longer look at her without wanting to know just how soft her lips were and just how supple her body was. It wasn't Brittany's fault at all.

"So, I'll pick you up tomorrow night for the party?" Santana asked, glad that tomorrow was a Saturday so she didn't have to spend all day with Brittany.

"Ok," was Brittany's forlorn response as she pushed open the door.

Putting her hand on Brittany's arm to stop her from leaving just yet, Santana urged her stomach to stop twisting and turning for just a moment so she could speak.

"It'll be fun," Santana suggested, sounding less than enthused. Her fingers kept their light grip on Brittany's wrist. "I promise."

She'd never promised Brittany anything she couldn't deliver. She'd never intentionally done anything or said anything to Brittany that would hurt her or deceive her. Santana hoped she could keep her word, without stepping over the line or making Brittany want to run a mile. They'd have fun together – as they usually would at parties – and Santana would keep her thoughts in check as best she could. She would try to remember that Brittany was her best friend, not a potential lover.

"I guess," Brittany said, glancing down at Santana's hand before letting her blue eyes flick up to meet Santana's. "Will you be with Puck too?"

The question made Santana's breath catch in her throat for a second. Well, maybe not the question, but certainly the flash of jealousy she saw cross Brittany's features as she asked it.

"No," Santana answered truthfully, letting her dark eyes disappear into Brittany. "I'm through with Puck."

She knew she hadn't really needed to throw that last bit of information out there, but it had slipped past her lips without thought.

"For good?" Brittany asked, allowing Santana to keep their gazes locked.

Santana wasn't sure why Brittany would be all that bothered; it wasn't as if Brittany didn't date plenty of guys herself, or take them with her to parties they'd both attend. She wanted to be honest – to a point – with her friend though. She always had been.

"He's not worth my time," she said with a shrug, her hand feeling weirdly out of place now on Brittany's arm, though she didn't let go.

"Good," was Brittany's only response, and she pulled away gently from Santana and exited the car.

Feeling more than slightly puzzled, Santana watched as her friend bent down to smile at her through the open car door as she leaned an arm on the top.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," Brittany said, a beautiful smile slowly replacing the worry.

It was the smile that Santana had always liked, and she liked it even more now. It was open, warm, full of kindness and love. It practically made Santana's heart beat out of her chest these days, which was both mortifying and wonderful all at once.

"You should wear blue," Brittany told her, in one of her rare 'completely lucid moments'. "You always look really hot in blue."

With that she gave Santana one last beaming smile and then closed the door and made her way up her drive. Santana could do nothing but sit and watch her friend walk away, her body tingling as she allowed herself to feel flattered. Her body screaming to be touched as she imagined that maybe, just maybe Brittany had now called her hot twice today. That had to mean something. Right?

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Once Santana arrived home and found something to eat, she made her way to her room, caught between feeling good and feeling really, really awful. On the one hand she'd just spent another day with Brittany; enjoying her company, enjoying her looks, and enjoying her apparent compliments. But on the other hand, she'd just spent the day misleading Brittany and being a giant perv.

There was no way she felt comfortable with the way she now saw her friend. How could she be comfortable? It wasn't who she was meant to be. It wasn't _what_ she was meant to be.

In all the time she'd known Brittany she'd never once thought of her in the sexual sense – well, mostly – but now her mind had settled on the notion, she couldn't think of anything else. Maybe something had sparked it. Maybe there had been a point when things had changed and she hadn't noticed until it was too late to stamp out the fire currently inside her.

Whatever, or whenever it had been, Santana couldn't put her finger on it; she just knew that right now . . . she wanted to have sex with Brittany. She wanted it in any and all possible ways that two women could, even though she didn't have the first clue what those ways could be. She didn't know about these things. She didn't know anything beyond the fact she just wanted to touch Brittany, and be touched by her right back. Sure, she could guess some of the basics – fingers, tongues, rubbing, sucking, exploring – but the thought of actually doing those things, and hoping to do them well, frightened the hell out of her.

She wasn't ready to want in this way, and she certainly wasn't ready to want another girl in this way.

Her past sexual experiences had mostly been quick, dubious, unsatisfying wrangles that left her wondering why anybody would do it unless they gained something out of it. Of course, she was smart, she always gained _something_; her reputation, her status. Her conquests had helped put her where she was, on top of the pile at McKinley High. She hadn't had sex with the boys she had because she'd been so hot for it she'd just had to have them right then and there – apart from that one time with Puck that had been a total disaster. No, she'd had sex with them to secure her place in the high school rankings. She'd done it to look good. To have every boy drooling after her in the hopes she'd let them play too.

There were times when she regretted doing what she had, but she wasn't going to linger on regret. She'd always been careful, always protected herself and chosen wisely. Santana had always been in control. Maybe that's why wanting Brittany scared her so much – it made her feel out of control. She couldn't rule the way she wanted Brittany and it was new and frightening.

Brittany, and the way she made Santana feel, had her all kinds of off centre. Plus, it was damn hot lately and she was sure it was messing with her internal sensors, or something.

Placing a hastily cooked plate of ravioli down on her desk, Santana threw her bag onto her bed and ran a hand over her forehead. She felt like she needed another shower already. Once she ate and situated her homework in the corner of the room, where she'd leave it for the reminder of the weekend, she'd take another shower before changing into something even less restricting then her Cherrio's uniform. Her parents probably wouldn't be home for hours so she'd have the place to herself.

The brief idea to call Brittany to come over and hang flitted through her mind, but she quashed it, choosing to stay sane for as long as possible. A little time apart would do her good, though she knew she'd spend most of that time thinking about Brittany and wondering what she was doing.

Nope, tonight she would enjoy her own company, and try not to melt; whether the melting would be due to the heatwave, or by her now incessant fantasies. Whatever the case, Santana had to figure some things out, like trying not to be into her best friend, and not doing anything to jeopardise what they already had.

She didn't know where to begin with that. How could she stop herself from wanting?

Spooning ravioli into her mouth as she pushed her sneakers off and hit play on the iPod that was hooked up to some impressive speakers, Santana implored herself to stop thinking. Just stop thinking about Brittany. Full stop.

There were other things she could choose to focus on, like her studies – though that idea just made her laugh right out loud – or her music. She'd always been able to lose herself to music and had began writing her own – lyrics, and tunes – some years ago.

It had helped her through her younger teen years, when she realized rebelling against her parents was pointless. They were never there to notice, so instead of wasting further time trying to be noticed she switched her attentions to creating something that helped her express herself.

Maybe that's why she'd joined Glee without putting up much of a fight. It's certainly why she enjoyed it, though she'd never tell anybody quite how much.

Pulling out her lyric book, Santana turned the volume up on her iPod, letting the beat remind her just how easy it was to get lost in music. Her dinner forgotten, she moved to the rhythm without thinking as she flicked through some old notes and scribbles in her lyric book. So much of it was embarrassing now – a mix of teenage angst and daddy issues. She was over those now, mostly. The only thing making her feel remotely emo now was this longing she'd developed for Brittany, and it was getting worse everyday.

Realizing that the track she was listening to was one of Brittany's favourites, she shuffled it forward to the next. But that also reminded her of Brittany – a song she loved to dance to; to move those hips to and transfix Santana in their sway.

Brittany definitely loved to dance, and Santana loved to watch.

Sitting down heavily in her chair at her desk she came to the sudden realization that maybe it was Glee club's fault she was now feeling the way she was about Brittany. Brittany danced a lot at Glee club. She danced with practiced ease. With confidence and a sex appeal that was impossible to miss. Santana had been transfixed from the very first performance – unable to take her eyes off Brittany even when she was dancing right beside her.

It was different to cheerleading. The way Brittany moved was different, and every chance she'd get Santana would look over at her and feel drawn to the way she moved. She'd allow herself to gaze at the swish of her blonde hair, the curve to her hips, the movement of her navel as she twisted and turned. It was mesmerising and so, so sexy.

And they'd recently just started sneaking into clubs together – easily tricking their past suspicious bouncers who suspected their age. That's where Brittany really let loose; her arms above head, eyes closed, letting the dance music travel through her like the rush of an ever building orgasm. Always perched on the edge of climax as each song eased into the next, keeping them moving, closer every time they went clubbing until they now danced so close they could feel nothing but each other's heat, breath, pulsing need to keep the rhythm. But they'd never pushed the limit. Never slammed the door on the outside so all that was left was each other.

Regardless, Brittany had danced her way into Santana's psyche anyway. That body, her eyes as they took on a smouldering guise so unlike the way Brittany normally looked without the music pounding through her, Brittany's effortless sex appeal and seductive aura. Santana had been powerless not to fall under the spell. Her body craved the touch of that girl. Her desire refusing to be ignored.

She shut off her iPod as the music brought about images of Brittany. No, there was no loosing herself to music when it was music that had freed Brittany enough to catch Santana's attention. She'd have to find some other way to deal with this, or . . . she'd have to avoid Brittany at all costs, and Santana knew she couldn't allow herself to do that.

Distracting herself proved almost impossible as the evening turned to night. The heat wasn't helping, and the day's slightly confusing events only added fuel to Santana's already overly active imagination. Twice Brittany had made reference to Santana's looks. It wasn't unusual for them to ask each other's opinion on how they looked, especially if they were headed to a party or a club, but this had been different. Maybe the way Brittany had said it. Maybe it was just because Santana had been letting her libido rule her mind lately. Either way, Santana couldn't help but smile because of it.

Of course, she also had the image in her mind of Brittany naked in the shower. She'd seen her body before – it was just one of those things that happened when you showered after practice together – but it almost felt as if Brittany had wanted her to see. Had wanted Santana to let her gaze linger and soak in just what she could have if they were together in that way.

But Santana had to remember, Brittany wasn't feeling the same as she was . . . probably.

She'd certainly never said anything, but then neither had Santana. She hadn't really even done anything that would make Santana wonder if Brittany wanted the same, apart from the fact they were definitely touching more and Brittany had taken to brushing her fingers over Santana's skin whenever a chance presented itself. Santana couldn't really cling to those as signs though, as Brittany didn't work like other people. She was wired differently. She constantly did things that made others look at her like she was from another planet. There was no guessing where Brittany was concerned; unless she came right out and told Santana she wanted to try something more than just a friendship, Santana would never be able to speculate for sure.

It was pointless, and frustrating trying to work it out.

And talking about frustrating, Santana was beyond frustrated right now. The cool shower she'd had a little while ago hadn't helped at all. Her mother coming home and flustering about how she needed to have the pool cleaned, the dining room redecorated, and how her office felt like a sauna had taken Santana's mind off Brittany for no longer than a few minutes. Once she'd slunk away back to her own room, Santana's thoughts settled back on her blonde friend. It was maddening.

She missed her. It had only been a few hours since she'd last seen Brittany, but she missed her smile, her voice, the sweet things she'd say that nobody else probably understood. Santana missed the softness of her fingers as they'd land on her arm, her thigh, her lower back or shoulder, or wherever Brittany chose to touch seemingly just because she could.

Laying back on her bed in a small tank top and some rather tight boi shorts, Santana sighed for the hundredth time in the past hour. Sleep wasn't going to come easy tonight, or at all. She couldn't possibly get under the sheets; though their cool, silk swathes offered promises of a little relief from the humidity, she knew after a while they'd begin to cling to her and make her sticky and uncomfortable. A fan blew across her, whispering over her dark skin as it swept left and right from across her room, every pass making her close her eyes and imagine it was Brittany's breath as she blew over her heated body.

Allowing herself to indulge, just a little, Santana kept her eyes closed and fantasised about a tickle of blonde hair over the leg she currently had raised at the knee. A soft breath travelling upwards. The ghost of a fingertip trailing up her inner thigh. She felt herself shudder; her stomach tightening as she licked her lips and pictured Brittany crawling up between her legs.

Subconsciously, Santana's legs fell open and her hand moved to the bottom of her tank top, fingers drifting under the hem to her taut tummy. The scratch of her own short fingernails almost caused her to whimper, such was her frustration. She knew she should stop thinking of Brittany as she was, and force her hands to some other task; she'd so far managed to do just that as her attraction had built, but she didn't think she had the will to stop this time.

The last thing she wanted to do was touch herself whilst thinking of her friend, but her strength was waning. There was no holding back the torrent of desire rushing through her this time. She couldn't fight it, even though she knew she'd feel incredibly guilty for it.

"Sorry, Brittany," Santana whispered huskily with a shudder as her hand slipped underneath the waistband of her shorts.

She wasn't surprised to discover that she was already wet; soaked in fact. Her fingers eased through the evidence of weeks of longing and Santana barely restrained a soft moan as her body awakened. Her scent crept up on her as she moved to her own touch and spread her sticky arousal over heated flesh. Wetting her lips and wriggling her other hand up under the top that now felt ridiculously restricting Santana cupped her breast; rolling over and around and pinching a painfully hard nipple.

Hips moving in time as Santana stroked over herself, she couldn't help but imagine Brittany hovering above her. That glorious body so close to her own, hands possessing Santana as if she belonged to her. Feeling herself quickly reaching a much needed release, Santana thought about Brittany's fingers; fingers that could right now be pushed into her shorts, fingertip brushing quickly over her where she needed it most.

"Fuck," she breathed quietly as she circled faster over her hard clit, her fingers knowing this land well despite the fact she'd never done this - stopped herself from doing this - over Brittany until now.

Spreading her legs wide on her now rumpled bed, knees bent and hips rolling up against her own fingers, Santana kept her eyes squeezed shut and saw a cascade of blonde hair over her, lips inviting her to kiss them, to taste the wrangle of their tongues.

She couldn't stop the moan that escaped when her imagination drowned her in expected sensation. Every sweep and flick of her fingertip caused her to shudder, for one person, for one girl that had inexplicably wrapped her way around Santana's life.

"Brittany," Santana hissed, head thrown back, repeating it until her sensitive clit could take no more and her hips jerked and body shuddered to its climax.

"Fuck," she gasped, "I want you."

With the last tremor she let her body relax back into the mattress, fingers now covered in her guilty pleasure. She pulled them out of her shorts and aimlessly wiped them across her thigh, her breath coming quick and shallow as she tried to regain control, the throb between her legs still sending small shockwaves through her.

Her tongue glanced over her lips and she opened her eyes to the quiet of the room, glaring at her ceiling and cursing the fact there was no Brittany between her and it. No Brittany to explore and enjoy, to crawl up inside until the only word Brittany could utter was Santana's name. It felt unfair, but she knew life wasn't that simple. She knew she'd never have what she wanted; not really. And now that she'd allowed herself the deceitful pleasure of coming with Brittany's name on her lips, she knew she was completely lost to this desire.

Santana wouldn't sleep tonight, wouldn't stop fucking herself, filling herself with her fingers with nothing but Brittany on her mind until her pussy was aching for her to stop.

She'd deal with the guilt tomorrow. Another day. Maybe never.

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Very sorry for the huge delay in continuing this. Thank you so much for the feedback, though :)

Chapter Four

The next day Santana immersed herself in everything and anything she could in order not to think about Brittany. She did homework, chores, went shopping on her own – spending lots of daddy's money to make herself feel better. But nothing she did completely worked; she still had Brittany on her mind. She knew it was something she just had to get used to, or get over, but it was making her grumpy.

Ridiculously hot weather was also getting her down, which was probably a little strange for a Latina girl, but she wasn't a fan of being sticky from the heat. It was all kinds of gross and making her want to move to Alaska, or somewhere equally as chilly.

Once she'd put her new clothes away and decided what to wear for the party later, Santana meandered over to the phone, giving it a glare and shaking her head in disgust at herself. She just couldn't go a day without talking to Brittany it seemed, and though she knew they'd be getting together later for the party, she still just wanted to hear her voice. It was utterly infuriating, and Santana wanted to kick herself in the shin for being so annoying.

She decided not to call Brittany, choosing to go and take an inordinately long time getting ready instead. A shower was needed, to relax her, though she doubted it would help. Then Santana planned to groom and dress like she'd never groomed and dressed before. Not that she was out to impress anybody, she just wanted to feel good about herself in the midst of her growing confusion.

Surely gay girls could look glam too, she thought. Not that she'd started identifying as gay, but being majorly attracted to another girl obviously meant she was leaning that way. It would have been mortifying if the label suddenly came with a loss of style and snark, but as far as she could tell . . . she still had oodles of both. This gay thing would be fine, really, as long as she didn't think about the fainting her parents would do and the crap she'd probably have to take from Sue Sylvester. Oh, and the fact the Cheerio's would disown her and her friends – what few she had – would look at her completely differently.

In fact, she was sure everybody except the bottom feeders in Glee club would treat her differently in some way or another. They were in a small town; people didn't just go around being gay without getting slushied every day or thrown in the dumpster. She'd seen it happen so many times to Kurt.

For a moment she almost felt bad for him, but it quickly passed. Now she just felt annoyed with herself again for being unable to ignore what she felt for Brittany.

If Santana had known she would end up wanting Brittany she would never have made friends with her. She would have ignored her from day one, despite Brittany's impossibly cute pout and that little lost look she did when something confused her. Bah, who was she kidding? They'd been firm friends from the very first shy smile, and Santana knew it couldn't be any other way.

Pushing her feet into some sexy black boots, Santana nodded her head to the music she had blasting from her speakers. Whatever happened tonight she was determined to have fun. It would be great if she could forget about her feelings and what she really wanted from Brittany for a little while and just enjoy their friendship, enjoy the party, and the free booze. She was resolute in her plan, no matter what.

Of course, when she pulled up outside Brittany's house and watched the girl come down her steps and head for the car . . . any such plan went right out of the window. Brittany had obviously chosen tonight to try out for the 'most gorgeous girl in the world' contest, and she was winning hands down.

"Damn," Santana said to herself, blowing out the air from her lungs as her eyes took in every inch of Brittany in her very tight, very short, sparkly dress.

Brittany's hair was down, flowing like silk all around her shoulders, and as she pulled open the door and slid into the passenger seat Santana had to warn herself not to stare.

"Hey," Brittany said, greeting Santana with her usual enthusiasm.

Santana nodded and smiled, glad that she'd chosen to wear her new, sexy, black leather pants; there was no way she would have been able to compete with Brittany's legs if she too had chosen to wear a dress.

"You look really good," Brittany said, smiling proudly at Santana. "I'm glad you wore blue."

Her gaze roamed over Santana and Santana felt her stomach flipping and flopping about. It was silly really, but she'd gone with Brittany's suggestion to wear a blue top just to please the girl. She wanted to look good for her, even if Brittany wouldn't appreciate it in quite the way Santana wanted her to.

"And you look . . ." Santana couldn't think of appropriate words to describe how Brittany looked, but she hoped her expression said it all. She was practically drooling.

"Thanks," Brittany beamed, not needing further input.

She clicked her seatbelt into place and they set off, no apparent awkwardness or uneasiness between them. Brittany chatted freely and Santana nodded and added the odd comment, mostly trying to concentrate on the road and not Brittany's legs, and definitely not thinking about what she'd done last night while imagining Brittany's fingers in her pussy.

"I hope they have good music," Brittany said, pulling Santana from her thoughts. "If they don't you should sing."

"What?" Santana asked, more than a little befuddled.

"You have a great voice, and I like hearing you sing," Brittany explained. "I could listen to it all day, though probably not if I take a bath 'cause I like to go underwater, and then you'd sound like you were singing from miles away, and that'd make me sad."

Santana furrowed her brow and shook her head, but she said nothing. It was normal for Brittany to make statements that made her head spin.

"I'm not gonna sing," Santana insisted. "We're there to have a good time and possibly get laid; acting like uber-morons from Glee club ain't the best idea. Leave your geek at the door, Brit."

Brittany looked down at her hands, then out of the window. She had a sad little pout on her lips and Santana instantly felt rotten.

"I didn't bring a geek, was a supposed to?" Brittany asked, her voice losing its happy cadence.

Santana scrunched up her brow and sighed. There was a fine line between Brittany being absurd and adorable, and right now Santana definitely thought the later. It wasn't helping her plan not to think of them as anything more than friends.

"Let's just forget about Glee club for tonight," Santana said, her hands gripping the wheel hard. "My rep is looking all kindsa man-hands right now so I needs t'get my ass on the dance floor and shake it up."

"Ok," Brittany agreed, glancing over at Santana. "As long as I can join in."

That was a given; they always danced together at parties. Not in a gay way, though – at least, not in a way that Santana had been aware of before. Maybe it did get a little hands-on now and then, but they did that to make the boys flock. It never failed to work.

Thinking about getting the boys flocking around Brittany suddenly made Santana want to punch something. She gripped the steering wheel tighter and hoped Brittany wouldn't disappear with some guy tonight, as she had a habit doing. Though Santana had just said she wanted to get laid she didn't really, and she didn't want Brittany leaving her to go get her fill of some teenage boy's premature excitement. The idea mortified her.

"You'd _better_ dance with me," Santana responded, glancing over at Brittany. "We do it better together."

The realisation of what she'd just said, and the implications of it considering her recent naughty thoughts, made Santana blush. She looked away from Brittany quickly, catching just a glimpse of the little smile Brittany gave her.

They quickly pulled up to the house Puck had told them to go to, parking in amongst a few other cars. It was a fairly large house and they could already hear the music coming from it. For once, it wasn't lame music. Puck's football friends may have been considered 'cool' in school, but they normally had atrocious taste in music.

"This'll be fun," Brittany all but squealed as she jumped out of the car.

Santana followed a little more demurely, making her way up the path with Brittany linking their arms together. Santana almost tugged her arm away, but she didn't want to upset Brittany. Not tonight at least; the less drama the better.

As Brittany pushed open the front door, failing to knock first, she looked down at their linked arms, grinned to herself – or appeared to – and said "We make a cute couple."

She gave Santana's arm a squeeze, then let go as they entered the house, much to both Santana's dismay and relief.

Santana wasn't sure what to make of Brittany's comment. After all, it was Brittany. But maybe Brittany wasn't as clueless as Santana was hoping she was about the way their friendship had been sliding – with the touching, and the glances, smiles, naughty thoughts in Santana's head. She couldn't be sure what Brittany was thinking, however, and she couldn't ask.

Slightly unnerved and more than a little befuddled, Santana followed Brittany into the house, where music was pumping and people were milling around with drinks. Only, they weren't the normal kids that showed up to these parties Puck discovered. They weren't the normal kids at all.

"Hey, Brittany," Artie said as he wheeled past them, on his way into a very large lounge, a drink placed between his thighs.

Santana raised an eyebrow, then she sighed as she caught sight of Rachel and Finn, and Kurt and. . .the whole of Glee club crashing her party.

"What the fuck?" she muttered, trying to ignore the way Brittany's face had lit up upon seeing their fellow Glee clubbers.

"Yay!" Brittany said excitedly, clapping her hands together.

She rushed off into the crowd to hug people, causing a bit of a stir and some bemused, but mostly amused, looks.

Catching sight of Puck and grabbing his arm, Santana repeated herself a little louder.

"What the fuck?" she directed at Puck, watching as he smirked at her. "Why the hell are these guys here?"

It wasn't that she hated them all – not really – but she didn't exactly want to spend her party time with them. Ever.

"Chill out, Hulk," Puck said. "It's Chang's party and he likes these guys."

"This is his parent's house?" Santana asked, nodding in approval.

"Yup, and they're away on some kinda rich Chinese person conference so it's time to party down and get some ladies," he said, his skeezy confidence not as off putting as it should have been.

He walked off, strutting like a rooster. Santana wanted to laugh, but she was too busy scowling.

"Come and say hi," Brittany practically yelled in Santana's ear as she bounded over and grabbed her arm. "Everybody's here. Even Quinn."

"Yeah, I see that," Santana pointed out, pulling her arm away and crossing them at her chest, slowly following Brittany into the lounge. "I'm not staying."

It seemed as if Brittany wasn't listening, and Santana didn't leave. Instead, she allowed Brittany to take her through the lounge, making her mumble hello to the lame Glee kids before they got to the kitchen and found drinks. As soon as she had something alcoholic in her hand, Santana began to relax. There was good music after all, and Chang wasn't as lame as the others. There were also some 'normal' people there from school – including a few of the football team, and some of the basketball team.

She supposed it wasn't all bad, as long as she could avoid talking to anybody from Glee for more than five minutes. Hopefully they'd all have to leave early so she could still get her dance on with Brittany without any of the geeks watching and being weird about it. She certainly didn't want to spend another night without Brittany, and now that Brittany had said all her hellos she was firmly back by Santana's side, and that was enough to keep Santana's bad mood from spoiling the entire now.

Now, if only she could stop Puck from leering at her from across the room, and find a way to be around Brittany without wanting to take her in her arms and smother her in much more than friendly kisses.

"More drink?" Brittany asked, noticing Santana's empty glass, and downing her own to join it.

Nodding, Santana let Brittany take her glass and watched her disappear into the kitchen. She gave Santana a glance over her shoulder as she went.

Santana had seen that look before. She'd seen that smile. It was Brittany's flirty smile.

Just what was Brittany up to?

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you so much for the feedback :)**

Chapter Five

They'd been at the party for a few hours now, and Santana was definitely feeling the buzz of alcohol. She'd avoided talking to anybody from Glee for as long as possible, but Quinn had cornered her at one point and dragged her over to where they were. She hadn't been able to get away since, forced to listen to Finn being moronic, Rachel talking about herself non-stop, and Kurt droning on and on about how difficult it was to be different.

She'd wanted to get away, but Brittany had been more than happy to be around them, so Santana had reluctantly stuck by her, drinking and scowling and wishing she was up and dancing with most of the other occupants of the party. Chang was doing his thing on the makeshift dance floor now, almost looking like he'd choreographed his own routine, even though it was just a party in his house.

"Want to dance?" Brittany asked in Santana's ear. She was sitting close to Santana and had been all night. Closer than normal even.

Just a little earlier while Rachel was causing Santana undue stress with her desire to throttle the midget, Brittany had placed her hand softly on Santana's lower back as she sat beside her. She wasn't sure if she'd done it to soothe her as her blood began to boil, or if there was another reason. Though Santana's first instinct had been to pull away, she hadn't, enduring the touch and actually finding that it did calm her, at least a little. Rachel had been lucky to escape with nothing more than a biting remark.

Trying not to shudder just from having Brittany speak in her ear, Santana finished off her drink, looked over at the Glee geeks as they chatted amongst themselves, and nodded. Hell, what did she care what they thought? It wasn't as if they'd be doing anything weird; dancing at a party was normal, and even Tina and Artie had spun around the place a few times to the music.

For some reason it just felt strange having them all there, however. She wasn't sure why, but she felt awkward, nervous even. Maybe they knew her a little more than she cared for. Maybe it was because she'd been herself amongst them – her real self – more than she had been with the Cheerios or anybody else she hung out with, other than Brittany of course. She shouldn't care if they made judgments on her, but she did.

Reluctantly, she guessed she kind of liked them. Not that she'd ever call them friends, but they were closer to her than most people.

"Come on," Brittany encouraged, pulling the empty glass from Santana's hand and placing it next to her own on the table close by. "I love this song."

Taking Santana's hand, Brittany tugged her towards where the other revellers were dancing, swaying as she went. Santana's gaze drifted to Brittany's butt as if she had no control, her heartbeat already beginning to gear up as the music pumped and Brittany's hand clung to her own.

Without giving Santana a chance to break away so they weren't dancing too close, or in danger of causing a scene, Brittany turned towards Santana, taking both her hands. She shimmied and danced close to Santana, her hair swaying in the same sensual way her hips were, her eyes locked on Santana's.

"Jesus," Santana muttered under her breath, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.

Attempting to seem fine even though her whole body was tingling and screaming to be even closer to Brittany, to press up against her to feel her heat and the way her body undulated in time to the beat. She couldn't keep her distance though it seemed; the alcohol and weeks of longing taking their toll. Santana felt the world melt away as Brittany's hands suddenly found their way to her hips, holding her where she wanted her as the music swelled and the crowd around them flowed to the heavy beat.

Without thinking, just enjoying the moment, Santana turned around, pressing her back up against Brittany. She was faintly aware of people watching, some boys whistling and whooping, but she didn't care now. All she wanted to feel was Brittany, and all she _could_ feel was Brittany.

Their bodies moved to one another's rhythm, but it wasn't exactly lewd. They hadn't gone too far. Not yet. At the moment it was just fun and nothing much more than what they'd normally do on the dance floor, but somehow it also felt different to Santana. As if Brittany was responding to the way Santana felt, without saying anything, or really even doing anything obvious.

"Want some meat in this lady-sandwich?" Puck shouted as he swayed up beside them.

Often they'd let him dance with them. He was a good friend and good to keep on side. If allowing him to perv a little now and then kept him from ignoring them then they'd retain their position in the school – hot cheerleaders that nobody dared mess with. Puck had his uses.

"No, we're Vulcans tonight," Brittany said, slowing down their movements so they were just swaying together a little now. "No meat."

Santana raised an eyebrow and watched as Puck scratched at his head.

"Don't you mean vegetari . . ." Puck began.

"She can call it what she wants," Santana interrupted, giving him a look that dared him to question her. He didn't.

With a grumble, Puck left them to each other, making his way over towards Rachel and Finn, his eyes roaming over Rachel in a way that Santana just knew would get him into trouble.

Once he was out of earshot Brittany leaned down and spoke into Santana's ear.

"Sorry, I just want you to myself," she said, giving Santana a squeeze with her hands as they rested on her hips.

Santana's heart may have skipped a beat but she wasn't certain. It could have just been the change in song as it powered over the speakers, making more of the party goers get to their feet. As per usual, Brittany told Santana that she loved the song, and Santana couldn't help but smile and push back against Brittany a little more salaciously, her backside rubbing into Brittany as they danced closer together than ever before.

As David Guetta's 'Sexy Bitch' span them into a trance, Brittany certainly didn't shy away from the contact; moving her hips in a way that made Santana's head spin and her body positively buzz with excitement. She felt the heat coming from her friend and wanted to turn around in her arms so she could look into her eyes. But she wasn't quite ready to do that. This was somewhat safer, more usual to how they'd dance together when they wanted to put on a little show.

This was no show, however. This was just for them. Santana wasn't sure how she knew for certain, but she didn't think Brittany was doing this for their usual reason. And as the music and the alcohol took away most of their inhibitions, Santana allowed herself to indulge.

The song penetrated them, pulling them together, causing them to move as if they were one. The heat and energy made Santana's head fuzzy and she ran her hands over herself, stoking a fire that had been burning for too long now. Letting the music and Brittany's body mould her and manipulate her, she turned around and draped her arms up over Brittany's shoulders, swaying her body into Brittany as Brittany held firmly to her hips, her hands soft but commanding. Their nipples were hard, despite the temperature, brushing against each other. It was almost painful for Santana; she desperately wanted Brittany to touch them, with her fingers, her lips, anything other than just the chafing material of her own bra.

Things were getting decidedly R rated, and the way Brittany started almost grinding against Santana made her totally forget they weren't actually alone. She snuck her leg between Brittany's, bringing them even closer. She could feel Brittany's breath blowing hard and fast over her forehead and she forgot herself for a moment and nuzzled Brittany's neck with her nose, taking in her scent, her warmth. She caught herself before she moaned, sure that – even with the thumping music – Brittany would have heard her.

The air was thick and dry and Santana licked her lips, tasting the salt of her own sweat, and inadvertently that of Brittany's as her tongue glanced over Brittany's skin at her neck. Somebody did moan then. It was Brittany, and she ground a little harder into Santana's leg as she did so.

They either had to break apart before they literally started humping each other in the middle of all their friends, or get the hell out of there so they could continue this sans audience. Santana didn't want to break the spell, however. She knew Brittany wasn't exactly drunk, but she wasn't totally sober either and once they parted she doubted Brittany would be as inclined to be so overtly sexual with her – which was definitely what Brittany was being, for whatever reason.

Brittany always lost herself to dancing. She was born to dance, but even though they'd played with the boundaries before, this was altogether a new experience. They were dirty-dancing, together, with seemingly not a care in the world.

"Holy hottness, ladies," came Pucks voice close to Santana's ear as he manoeuvred the girl he was dancing with close by them so he could say whatever lame thing he wanted to say. "Sure you don't want a little beef between you? You're making me crazy over here."

Santana tried not to hear him, but his words got through the thick haze of lust she'd been blindly immersing herself in. Opening her eyes – only just realising she'd had them shut – Santana glanced around, noticing instantly that most of the boys in the room, and some of the girls, were staring at them. Some looked well and truly turned on, while others looked as if they were about to go searching for a cold bucket of water to throw over them. Rachel was seething in the corner as Finn stood drooling into his drink.

It was like a slap to the face and Santana backed away from Brittany, missing the curves and warmth of Brittany's body instantly.

"Fuck off, Puck," she bit, feeling lust turn to anger and shame as Brittany tried desperately to bring her closer again with her grasping hands. She turned on Brittany then, feeling her cheeks go red. "Jesus, Brit! What the fuck are you doing?"

All but pushing Brittany away, Santana glared at her.

"Just dancing with you," Brittany replied timidly, stepping back and looking down at her feet. "I thought you liked it."

"Hell, we all liked it," Puck interjected with a smirk.

"Back off," Santana warned him.

"This why you dumped me?" he asked, unperturbed. "Because you turned les?"

Santana's hand balled up into a fist but she didn't strike out. That would only have given her a sore hand and made Puck's smirk even wider.

"I'm not . . ." Santana couldn't say the word, anger boiling her blood; a mix of fear and shame. Once again she turned to Brittany to vent at her. "For fuck's sake, Brittany. Don't fucking do that again."

She knew as she said the words that she was not only hurting Brittany but confusing her too; they'd both been guilty of seeking out the curves of each other's body as they'd danced. They'd both done it, not just Brittany. Seeing the pout form on Brittany's mouth made Santana even angrier – at herself. She felt like a coward, an awful coward.

"But I just . . ." Brittany began, but Santana needed to get away.

She was flushed with arousal and feeling stupid. She couldn't stand to see Brittany's pout and the hurt look in her eyes, knowing she was the cause. Without saying anymore Santana stormed off, leaving Puck grinning and Brittany completely baffled.

Walking quickly, Santana headed for the front door, pushing people out of her way when they were too stupid to move. She knew she couldn't drive, as she'd drank more than she'd planned to, but she headed for her car anyway, planning to call a cab and wait for it there. Brittany would have to get her own ride home.

Sliding into the driver's seat, Santana gripped the steering wheel. She banged her hand against it a few times, cursing to herself for her stupid hormones and her stupid feelings for Brittany. She wished she could just switch off how she felt, switch off what she wanted from Brittany, but she couldn't.

Brittany had made everything even harder to ignore tonight as she'd been all over Santana; staying close, dancing with her provocatively as if she wanted something to happen. But Santana was sure Brittany was completely straight, and just liked her as a friend. It wasn't fair that Brittany had been almost teasing her. Wasn't fair at all.

"Fuck!" Santana cussed again, dropping her forehead to the top of the steering wheel, trying to calm her breathing as she did her best not to think about how good it had felt being that way – so close - with Brittany.

They couldn't be that close though, not again. She couldn't take the names people would call her, the things people would say about them.

She had to stop wanting Brittany. Stop being anywhere near her.

TBC…


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you so much for the lovely feedback :)**

Chapter Six

With her hands still grasping the steering wheel in her car, Santana calmed her breathing as best she could. She'd call for a cab and get the hell out of there as soon as she felt composed enough to talk. There was no way she could go back into the party now, and she had no idea what she'd say to Brittany. An apology would probably have been a good start, but Santana didn't want to talk about what they'd been doing. All she could see was Brittany's crestfallen face, and she doubted she'd be able to explain why she'd shouted at her so meanly without giving herself away.

Brittany hadn't really done anything wrong, even though Santana wished she could blame her for them almost humping each other in the middle of Mike Chang's party. Brittany had just been doing what she did; being free and having fun. Santana should have been more careful and she knew it.

She was angry with herself.

Puck would bring this up again, and Brittany would probably have questions too; she had to stop wanting Brittany in the way she did, or at least force herself to stop thinking of her in that way if she was to avoid everybody discovering who she really was.

"Gotta stop," she muttered to herself, straightening up and taking one last calming breath.

Just as she was about to reach for her cell phone the passenger door opened and Brittany slid into the seat beside her. Instantly, Santana felt her body relax despite how awkward things had just been and how horrid she'd treated Brittany not five minutes ago. It didn't surprise Santana that Brittany had a small, tentative smile on her lips as she looked over at her.

"Are you mad?" Brittany asked, as if it wasn't obvious that she was.

Santana sighed and ran a hand through her hair, wishing she were more sober so she could just drive them home. She hated how uncomfortable and embarrassed she felt. Normally, Santana was full of confidence. There had never been a time in her life that she'd wanted to just crawl away into a hole and pretend the world didn't exist, but she felt like that right now and she hated it.

Brittany wouldn't understand how she felt, or why she'd suddenly turned into bitch-girl with her, and she couldn't explain. The word frustrated didn't even begin to cover how Santana felt about the situation.

"Not mad," Santana replied, her voice low, guilty.

"You shouted at me," Brittany pointed out.

Regret weighed heavy on Santana's heart, but she couldn't explain why. She just hoped Brittany would accept her apology without question.

"Sorry," she said, looking at Brittany properly for this first time since she entered the car.

"I don't understand why," Brittany continued. "Usually I know when I've done something wrong, but . . ."

"Can we just not talk about it?" Santana asked, hoping Brittany could see how uncomfortable she was.

"But it must have been something," Brittany pressed, her eyes all puppy-dog like and making Santana feel like a world class bitch.

"It was nothing, just. . ." Santana rubbed at her brow. She couldn't tell her friend that their dancing had meant more to her than what it had to Brittany. "I just got too hot. There's a fucking heat wave and Chang's house was like heat wave central."

It was the best she could do. At least Brittany knew that Santana didn't like the heat.

"Ok," Brittany said sullenly, looking down at her lap. "But I don't think I believe you."

Sighing deeply, Santana just shook her head. There was no point arguing.

"Just go back in, Brit," Santana instructed. "I'm gonna call a cab."

"You're going home?" Brittany asked, her Santana-slaying pout threatening to appear.

"I told you, I'm hot. I just wanna go home, take a cold shower and . . ."

Maybe that had been a bit too much info, as Brittany raised her eyebrows, a little gleam in her eyes.

"I'll come with you," Brittany said.

For a second Santana wasn't sure if Brittany was offering to actually shower with her or not, but this was Brittany, and Brittany didn't think along the same lines as Santana. Sure, Brittany was what you could call promiscuous, but in a lot of ways she was an innocent. She often just didn't see what was right in front of her, especially when it came to sexual connotations.

"I wanna be alone," Santana insisted.

"Why do you wanna be alone now?" Brittany questioned, making Santana scrunch her forehead up in exasperation. "You didn't wanna be alone a few minutes ago when you wanted me touching you."

She said it so nonchalantly, as if she didn't get the implications of it at all. As if she had no clue what it would actually mean if Santana had indeed wanted to be touched by her – which of course she did.

"I . . . I just . . ." Santana didn't know what to say, feeling her face flush.

She grunted in frustration and put her hands over her face, resting the backs of them against the steering wheel.

"Was I doing it wrong?" Brittany asked, her voice soft, worried.

Was she doing it wrong? There was no doubt in Santana's mind that Brittany had been doing it all kinds of right, but she shouldn't have been doing it at all, and Santana shouldn't have been wanting her to.

"No," Santana answered honestly, her shoulders relaxing just a fraction as she tried to regain some composure. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then come back in," Brittany suggested, grabbing the door handle, ready to leave.

"I can't."

"But . . ."

"I just can't," Santana insisted, looking directly at Brittany.

"That makes me sad," Brittany said with a definite pout now. "Like an Emu."

Santana closed her eyes and took a breath, only opening them again when she knew she had the strength to resist.

"I know it does," Santana told her. "I'll make it up to you. Just . . . not now."

Glancing out of the window, Santana could see Puck emerging from the house with some girl she didn't know, his hand on her backside and a smirk on his face. They were coming down the drive and the last thing Santana wanted was more stupid comments from him that would rile her up and probably clue Brittany in to things she didn't want Brittany knowing.

Leaning over Brittany's lap, Santana shoved open the passenger door and gave Brittany a slight push, hoping she'd get the hint.

"You're really leaving?" Brittany asked, her voice so slight it made Santana want to slap herself for being so abrupt. For being so stupid.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," Santana said, desperately trying not to back down and stay there with Brittany, and possibly tell her how she felt, and ruin their friendship.

Reluctantly, Brittany began to get out of the car, her body language clearly indicating that it was the last thing she wanted to do. Before she closed the door she bent down as if to say something, causing Santana to lean forward a little. Taking Santana completely by surprise, Brittany closed the distance between them and kissed Santana on the cheek, lingering a little longer than was probably necessary.

"See you at school," Brittany said, sounding completely dejected.

Santana said nothing back, too busy wondering if Brittany had ever kissed her on the cheek before, as Brittany closed the door and walked away.

Lifting her hand up to her face, Santana shook her head, baffled, flummoxed, confused at not only Brittany's actions but her own reaction; Santana's heart was fluttering in her chest and her head felt full of cotton all of a sudden. Things were getting weird.

She watched as Brittany walked back up to the house, her eyes never leaving Brittany's curves as she failed to battle away the ideas they gave her. It took a long while for her to pick up her cell phone and call for a cab, but when she eventually made it home Santana was convinced she'd made the right decision. Having Brittany be kind of flirty with her was one temptation too far, and though she doubted Brittany knew exactly what she was doing to her, Santana had to wonder about it.

If Brittany felt the same, did it mean everything would be ok? No, Santana wasn't dumb enough to believe that. She knew that she still had to keep her distance, physically and emotionally. She couldn't be gay. There was no way she could be with Brittany even if Brittany was remotely interested. It just couldn't happen and she was becoming more and more resigned to that fact.

She slept fitfully that night, the alcohol having run through her veins, leaving her feeling dehydrated and a little lost. The way Brittany had danced with her, looked at her, and kissed her on the cheek occupied her thoughts. Santana's mind was in turmoil and there seemed to be no respite.

When she got to school, having called to tell Brittany's mom that she couldn't pick Brittany up that morning because she was running late, Santana felt jittery. She'd already shouted at three other kids, and was about to slap Rachel around the head just for being in her general vicinity as she pulled books from her locker, but she managed to keep her cool enough to walk past her with just a glare.

"Don't look her in the eye; she gives me the chills. And I'm almost certain she practises some kind of dark arts," Rachel said under her breath to Finn as he waited obediently for her.

Santana pretended not to hear; fighting in school was growing old, and really . . . they needed Rachel in Glee so they could win things and look less nerdy. Destroying Rachel's voice box while she strangled her was not a good idea. She'd get back at her for that comment another time. Maybe after they came back from Nationals as champions later in the year.

So far she hadn't seen Brittany, but she knew her mom would have driven her to school so there was no chance of her not turning up. . .unless something had happened. Or if Brittany had decided she didn't want to see Santana. Or if . . .

"Hi," came Brittany's voice from behind Santana as she sidled up beside her.

Instantly, Santana smiled, unable to stop herself. Before she could speak, Brittany continued, slowing her pace so that most of the other students rushed past them to class.

"I think I know what's wrong," Brittany told her, quietly confident.

Santana's heart pumped hard, her eyes widening and her hands gripping tightly to her books. Surely Brittany didn't know. The very idea that Brittany knew made Santana panic. She didn't want Brittany to know.

"At first I thought it was 'cause of Puck," Brittany continued, looking at Santana even as Santana avoided eye contact. "But you don't even really like Puck, so that's not it."

"Brit, don't . . ."

Brittany interrupted, stopping and standing still in the now empty hall and turning to Santana.

"I know you're scared," Brittany said softly.

She reached out and placed a gentle hand on Santana's forearm, the contact making Santana flinch ever so slightly. This conversation couldn't happen, but though Santana opened her mouth to speak, no words came out, so she just stood and listened to Brittany. Stood and let the other girl's sweet voice penetrate every icy corner of her soul.

"I'm scared too," Brittany went on. "But . . . I was once scared of my cat, until I realised she liked being scratched behind her ear, and that I liked scratching her behind her ear, and then I wasn't scared anymore."

Santana raised an eyebrow, unsure what to say to that. Unsure what Brittany even meant.

"You're like a cat," Brittany stated, as if that made everything so much clearer.

"Brittany, what are you talking about?" Santana asked, partly because she didn't understand, and partly because she thought she did kind of understand but didn't want to acknowledge that she did – even to herself.

Before Brittany got a chance to answer, Sue Sylvester came walking briskly down the hall, her eyes boring into both girls. They should have been in class already, and rather than endure the wrath of Sue they turned quickly and began rushing away before she could reach them.

They hurried around a corner, heading for their Spanish class with Mr Schuester; avoiding a confrontation with the overbearing couch. They knew she wanted an update on Glee club; inside information that would help bring it down, buckle its knees, and leave its budget to the Cheerios. The last thing Sue would want to hear was that they were actually enjoying Glee club and that things were going well for them there. Sue would not take kindly to her Cheerios defecting. It just wouldn't do.

"That was too close," Santana said, hearing Sue's footsteps grow softer as she continued towards her office. "I can't deal with her today."

"She smells like the sea on Monday," Brittany commented with a nod, making Santana scrunch up her brow in confusion.

Sometimes, only Brittany knew for sure why she said the things she did. Santana was happy not to ask about it, or to bring up again what Brittany had been talking about just a few minutes before. Hopefully they could get in to class without anything else being said at all. Santana would deal with the rest of the day as it came upon her; with a determination not to do anything that would make Brittany start guessing at things Santana didn't want her to guess at.

Santana thought she'd gotten away with avoiding the reason she'd freaked out last night, thankful that she didn't have to deal with the whole embarrassing situation again, but just before they entered the class, Brittany stopped her with a touch to her arm. She looked into Santana's dark eyes and smiled gently.

"I love my cat," Brittany said cryptically.

She then moved in front of Santana and opened the classroom door, disappearing inside as Santana frowned in confusion.

Indeed, Brittany really did sometimes say things that only she understood.

Santana followed with a shrug.

TBC…


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N So sorry for the delay with this. The next few chapters should come along quite quickly now, though :)**

Chapter Seven

The TV flickered as a bad horror movie spun silently in the dvd player. There was an endless stream of splattered blood, frightful screams and bad dialog, and neither Brittany nor Santana had the faintest idea what was going on in it, or why they were even still watching it. It was now Thursday night; the movie chosen by Brittany and the popcorn bought by Santana. This is what they did when they could. What they'd been doing since they'd first met. Both of them loved cheesy horror films and indulged as often as possible.

Brittany's parents had gone out dancing – the dull, couples kind, not disco – leaving the girls to their own devices. They were quite happy staying in with a bad film and fattening snacks they'd never let Sue Sylvester know they even liked let alone ate. Having successfully avoided any topics of conversation with Brittany that might have given Santana a hear attack, they'd spent most of the week as normal, just being friends. Close friends obviously.

There was the odd occasion when Brittany would be much closer to Santana than was probably ever necessary; practically sitting in her lap some days. And Brittany kept smiling at her, even more so than usual, in a way that made Santana furrow her brow and try to ignore what that particular smile did to her. If Brittany knew how Santana felt then she wasn't making it glaringly obvious, but Santana still felt wary and suspicious, and something was definitely different. Even though Brittany had been overly friendly with her lately, Santana was doing her damndest not to allow herself to get too comfortable with the close contact and the secret glances. She couldn't dare to hope that they might be thinking and feeling the same things.

And anyway, even if Brittany did want more from Santana, Santana was pretty sure she couldn't give it. She couldn't let herself go against everything she thought was normal. Imagining the soft touch of another girl was one thing, actually having that was entirely another. Santana was quite happy pretending that she could stay completely straight if she set her mind to it - no kinks or curves - although it was getting harder every day.

"This movie is dumb," Brittany said, shovelling popcorn into her mouth without taking her eyes from the screen.

Santana had to agree, but she didn't. She hadn't spoken for the last ten minutes, after Brittany had begun to sorely test her resolve by snuggling up to her side on the couch that could clearly seat at least three people. Currently, it seated only the two of them, right at one end with Santana practically looking like she wanted to escape over the cushioned armrest.

It wouldn't have been fair on Brittany to ask her to move, however, as she was used to being able to drape herself over Santana in any way she wanted. Plus, when Santana allowed herself the slightest bit of enjoyment from it every few minutes she could accept that it was actually quite nice having Brittany pressing against her the way she was. It was entirely distracting, but the film wasn't great anyway so Santana said nothing, for now.

"Next time, you should choose the movie," Brittany mumbled around a mouthful of popcorn.

Santana chuckled slightly, not bothering to point out that Brittany always said that, yet every time they went to rent a movie it was Brittany who chose. She would pout otherwise and Santana had learned long ago not to do battle with Brittany's pout.

"Ok, Brit," Santana said as she smiled fondly at her friend.

They were quiet for a few minutes, watching some poor girl in the film run around screaming quite unnecessarily. Santana was getting too warm, what with the current heatwave and the fact Brittany was up against her side, her feet up on the cushions. Santana's skin was beginning to feel sticky where it touched Brittany's and she knew she should just ask Brittany to move, but she didn't. She didn't want to.

No, that wasn't quite right; she wanted to ask Brittany to move, but couldn't. All along her left side she felt Brittany's body heat and her curves, the softness of her, the slight hint of firm muscles that had developed the more she trained for cheerleading, and the more she danced for Glee club. Santana was enjoying this far too much for her to move, even if that enjoyment came with a heavy dose of guilt and self-recrimination.

That guilt was beginning to eat away at her as she felt Brittany sigh in contentment.

"Aren't you warm?" Santana asked, wriggling a little as she tried to ignore that Brittany's breast was resting against her arm.

"Uhuh," Brittany replied with a nod, though didn't move away; placing a hand on Santana's thigh instead.

"It's too warm," Santana huffed, her breath coming quicker as panic started taking hold.

If she didn't move soon she'd be in serious danger of just forgetting all about pretending she was the straightest girl that ever was, and she'd acknowledge the tingle of desire currently working its way between her legs.

"We have ice-cream if you want," Brittany said, brushing her fingertips up and down Santana's thigh where her hand had strayed.

Ice-cream was both a great idea and a very, very bad one. On the one hand Santana knew it would mean she could actually move away from Brittany to fetch it, and the thought of ice cold vanilla in her mouth was not a horrible one. But she also couldn't help imagining what else she could do with that ice-cream. Where she could drip it and lick it from; Brittany's hard abs coming to mind before she could stop it.

"No," Santana said, feeling more and more flustered by the minute.

"No?" Brittany asked, giving Santana a confused look as she placed the last of the popcorn between her lips.

"No ice-cream," Santana clarified, absentmindedly watching as Brittany's lips closed around the popcorn.

If she didn't know better she'd think that Brittany was holding her gaze on purpose, as a challenge, as she began to chew slowly. Brittany's pink tongue flicked out at her bottom lip, cleaning it of the butter that the popcorn had been drowning in. It took all of Santana's will power not to bend forward and help with her own tongue.

She wanted to run it over Brittany's lip, then slide it into her mouth and kiss her deeply, forcibly, so that Brittany was left in no doubt as to Santana's intentions.

"Santana?" Brittany questioned, her voice soft, hesitant.

Blinking, Santana willed her heart to stop racing and her body to stop reacting to the desire she so clearly felt. She shook her head to clear it and hardened her features as she looked away, back to the TV screen.

"What?" she answered, acting as if she were annoyed; and really . . . she was. Though it was at herself and not at Brittany.

"I asked why you didn't want ice-cream. You love ice-cream," Brittany pointed out.

Santana wondered how she'd missed the question initially, almost laughing at herself as she realised she hadn't been able to hear anything above the pounding of her own heart as she'd stared at Brittany's mouth.

She didn't answer; her mind unable to completely free itself from images of kissing Brittany and pushing her down onto the large couch, indulging, taking. Maybe the last straw had just come and gone. The last of Santana's pretence that she didn't really want Brittany in that way. There was no mistaking the way her stomach twisted in want, and the ache between her legs tugged away any hope that she'd been wrong about this.

"Are you ok?" Brittany asked, sounding concerned now as she leaned away just a little from Santana so she could see her more clearly.

Santana was far from ok, but she didn't know what to say or how to explain herself.

"I'm just getting too hot," she mumbled brusquely, knowing her excuse was wearing thin and sounded pathetic.

Shifting away from Brittany, Santana moved as if she were about to stand, but Brittany's hand on her arm held her in place.

"Did I do something wrong again?" Brittany asked, her brow furrowed heavily, making Santana feel horrible.

Her best friend didn't deserve this, but she couldn't tell her what was really troubling her. Santana didn't want to lose Brittany or what they already had. It was a risk too far.

Pulling free of Brittany's hand, Santana stood up and lingered awkwardly by the couch, smoothing a hand over her pony tail.

"You didn't do anything wrong," she told Brittany, who was still sitting behind her as Santana refused to turn around and meet her eyes. "It's just that . . . there's . . ."

She felt more than heard Brittany stand and move close to her back, the warm air in the room shifting slightly. A hand rested on Santana's shoulder and she almost let loose the grip on everything she wanted; a brief notion of spinning around and pulling Brittany's body to her own.

"Why are things different now?" Brittany questioned, the worry in her voice evident, piercing Santana in places she didn't want to feel the guilt. "I don't understand. You used to like being around me."

Closing her eyes, Santana's gut twisted and her hands gripped at the material of her skirt as she fought to hold her tongue, and the truth. The truth could only damage them more than they were already being damaged.

The hand on her shoulder felt heavy, accusing, desperate. Santana wanted to shrug away from it but she held still, hoping Brittany would drop this.

"I still like being around _you_," Brittany all but whispered, her fingers moving slightly so they brushed against Santana's neck, leaving Santana trembling like a fool.

"It's not that I don't . . ."

The fingers on Santana's neck were distracting and she dropped her head forward a little in quiet surrender as the words slipped away from her. Another tremble betrayed her as Brittany's hand grew bolder across her skin; fingers moving further, practically kneading away the tension from the back of Santana's neck.

She almost didn't notice that Brittany had moved closer, but as she felt the soft brush of a tall body against her own – so close, yet maddeningly just shy of what she needed – Santana heard the sigh fall from her own lips before she could stop it. For a moment she wondered how bad it would really be to just step back a little into Brittany; to feel Brittany's curves against her right then when it would be so much more than just two friends being familiar with each other. When it would be obvious what it meant, what it indicated, what Santana really wanted from her.

"Brittany," Santana uttered in warning, her voice rough, tainted with the first flickers of arousal.

Brittany's other hand drifted to Santana's waist, resting there lightly as a warm breath blew over her neck from behind. Swallowing hard, Santana told herself to run, to get away, to break this before it was too late to deny what Brittany did to her. She didn't move, however, waiting as if trapped. Tormented by her own weakness. As if reading her mind, Brittany stepped even closer, bringing them together.

The sensation of soft breasts against her back, long legs whispering against her own, and the bold hands – one at her shoulder and one at her hip – had Santana wanting to cry out in defiance of how it made her body tense in its need to be possessed. The ache between her legs was now an annoying throb and she became aware that she was breathing quicker, harder.

Her hands twisted at her skirt, needing something to cling on to as she felt Brittany lean in further, her breath spilling over Santana's ear.

"Don't worry," Brittany said, the closeness of her words, her proximity, her fingers as they squeezed a little making Santana barely able to suppress the moan that bubbled up from her throat. "I think I understand."

Santana's pulse pumped hard, her lips parting slightly as she allowed herself this moment of indulgence before she had to warn Brittany that there was probably more to this than what she'd guessed. Before she had to move away and tell Brittany she was mistaken, and save them both from something that would only break what they were and what they had together.

For a brief, tense minute or two Santana thought that Brittany wasn't going to continue, wasn't going to tell her what she imagined she understood. But then she felt lips even closer to her and her legs grew embarrassingly weak and shaky.

"I want you too," Brittany said softly, her lips brushing against Santana's ear.

This time a small moan did escape Santana's grasp and she felt like she had an octopus in her stomach, threatening to overwhelm her with need. When the tip of Brittany's tongue flicked out at her earlobe, making Santana shudder and feel decidedly out of control she knew she either had to admit her failure to deny what she felt, or succumb to its temptation without reserve. She wasn't sure which prospect scared her more.

She wasn't even sure if Brittany knew exactly what she was saying, or how it would change everything. How it would make them different. How it would be impossible to go back to what they were.

"Will you stay with me?" Brittany implored as Santana tensed, feeling the need to run. "Stay tonight?"

There was need in Brittany's voice; need and expectation, and a clarity that Brittany rarely possessed. It terrified Santana.

She pulled away from Brittany abruptly, turning towards her, her face contorted in anger.

"I dunno what you're talking about," Santana exclaimed bluntly. "You've got it wrong."

Brittany just stared at her, confusion in her features and a sadness to her eyes.

Santana almost broke then; almost reached out to Brittany to sink into her arms. But she couldn't do this.

"San?" Brittany whispered; disappointment obvious in the way she looked at Santana.

She stepped forward slightly and Santana moved backwards, towards the door.

"Don't touch me," Santana warned. "Don't . . ."

The words died on her lips and she shook her head angrily, hating that she was weak for wanting, and hating that she was even weaker for not allowing it.

She rushed out of the door before Brittany could say anything more, her face red with embarrassment and tears in her eyes. This was not how she'd envisioned her life; desperately wanting more from a girl that was too sweet, too kind to fully comprehend what it would mean. Falling for a friend who trusted her implicitly.

Falling for her and only just realising it as she slammed the door to her car and got away as fast as she could, her heart aching with its sudden awareness.

This couldn't be her life.

TBC…


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Santana drove down the street like a woman possessed; lucky not to crash the car at least three times before she turned the corner and slowed a little as she hit a main road with more traffic. Her eyes were stinging as she held back tears she refused to release. How could she possibly be in love with Brittany?

She didn't know how it had happened, or when exactly, but she knew it for sure as the squeeze in her chest made her almost dizzy with its intensity. It was embarrassing, mortifying, and so not what she wanted. Santana prided herself on being aloof with guys she dated. She didn't let 'feelings' get in the way of anything, but Brittany had wormed her way inside her and just wouldn't stop wriggling.

"Damnit," she yelled into the emptiness of her car, slamming her hand against the steering wheel. "This is fucking stupid."

Her nostrils flared and she looked for a place she could pull over as her eyes misted to the point she could barely see.

Once parked next to the curb Santana ran her hands over her face, willing away the tears, the feelings inside her, and everything that went with them. She had to get a grip, or . . . just relent and let it happen. Neither prospect filled her with an overwhelming sense of calm. She knew she was probably just delirious. She knew she was too young to go around falling for friends she didn't want to lose. Knew this was probably just a stupid crush gone too far. She knew she was lying to herself if she believed any of that; the twinge in her chest told her as much.

Swiping away at the few tears that had fallen, Santana took a shaky breath and let it out slowly. So she was gay, or bi at least; that much was clear now. It wasn't what she wanted but she couldn't stop the way she felt, the things she wanted. Santana knew she'd have to deal with it and couldn't just keep pushing it aside. It was obviously who she was, regardless of whether or not she was happy about it.

"Ugh!" she grunted, looking down at herself as if allowing herself to accept it – at least to some degree – would somehow have changed her.

She was still Santana, however. Still just as hot, just as fierce, just as much of a girl as she had been two minutes before. Maybe if she could force her mind past those scary stereotypical thoughts that dwelled in her head about being gay she could cope with all this. It wasn't going to be easy, but Santana realised that you couldn't stop being gay just because you wanted to. It wasn't a choice. Hadn't been her choice to desire Brittany the way she did. To fall for her.

And in all her tangled emotions, Santana sat for a moment and recalled just what Brittany had said before she'd run from her house.

Brittany wanted her too; or at least she'd told her so.

She wasn't certain what that meant or how it changed things, but remembering Brittany's soft touch and gentle hands made her close her eyes and imagine. Maybe Brittany had been telling the truth and not just trying to do the nice thing. Santana wasn't sure if she could trust that small flicker of hope, and didn't know if it would be right to allow it. Brittany was special to her and Santana would never forgive herself for harming the girl in any way.

As Santana regained some composure and got ready to pull back out into the traffic so she could go home and wallow in her baffling emotions, her cell phone rang beside her on the passenger seat.

She lifted it up and saw Brittany's name flashing at her. Hitting the little red button to deny the call, Santana sighed to herself; she was being a coward and she knew it.

The phone beeped again; a text message this time.

Deciding she couldn't ignore Brittany completely, Santana opened the message, unsure what Brittany would make of the way she'd reacted to her touch, and the way she'd stormed out at Brittany's declaration. She almost didn't read the message, but she knew she had to.

A minute later Santana felt her lungs beginning to burn as she held her breath, mouth open in wonder.

Taking a sudden, much needed gulp of air and blinking, she looked again at the message she'd just read. Brittany, in no uncertain terms, was definitely the brave one in this situation. She'd dared to cross that line.

'I meant it. I want you.' The text had begun. 'I know you want it too. Want me to kiss you. Touch you. Have sex with you. Come back, my parents won't be back until later.'

There really was no mistaking Brittany's intentions with the text. She was offering exactly what Santana wanted, offering herself, but Santana wasn't sure she was strong enough to accept. And there was more to this than just wanting to fuck; she had to decide if going back was the sensible thing to do for either of them.

As Santana subconsciously checked herself in the mirror over the passenger seat, wiping at her eyes and making sure her ponytail was just as neat as it always was, she heard her phone chime once again.

Without hesitation this time she read the new text from Brittany.

'Don't be scared.' It read. 'We'll be ok. And I really want to be with you. And you smelled really good today.'

A small smile drifted over Santana's lips and she sighed in resignation. Though it pretty much terrified her she knew she had to turn around and go back or they'd never be the same again, and Santana would forever know she'd been too much of a coward to take life by the horns and just live it. Brittany didn't seem scared or worried, though Santana doubted Brittany felt quite as emotionally attached to the idea of them being together as more than friends. She supposed for Brittany it was just about the basics. About the sex.

Brittany wasn't in love like Santana clearly was, and that was what made Santana pause and bite her lower lip before turning the car around and heading back towards Brittany's house.

She was well aware that this was probably madness and that it could go horribly wrong, but things were already going wrong and there was no way she could stop thinking of Brittany in the way she had been.

And she needed her friend. She needed Brittany.

Pulling up back outside Brittany's house Santana felt her hands shaking. What was she going to say? How was she going to explain herself? Santana didn't have those answers, just a whole load more questions. She knew she couldn't tell Brittany she'd been falling for her, that would just complicate things further, but maybe she could accept what Brittany was willing to offer her to see where it went. She had to trust Brittany's declaration that they'd be ok.

Pushing the door open to her car Santana stepped out, straightening her Cheerio uniform and trying to stand tall. She saw the front door of the house swing open but Brittany didn't come out; she was waiting inside for Santana. With a slightly shaky sigh and a quick look up and down the street, Santana made her way back up the drive and into the house.

Her heart was beating faster than could possibly be healthy, but she tried to remain composed; feeling and looking like a virgin on prom night really didn't gel well with her image. As soon as she closed the front door behind her and moved towards the living room Brittany appeared, looking at Santana timidly as she clasped her hands together in front of her. For a moment Santana wanted to turn and run again, but the hopeful glint in Brittany's eye held her firm.

"Sorry I yelled," Santana mumbled, trying to break the uncomfortable silence.

"It's ok," Brittany replied, her voice soft and reassuring.

Silence settled on them again and Santana cursed herself for being so pathetic. She was supposed to be good at this kind of thing. She was supposed to know what she wanted and go after it without a second thought, but Brittany wasn't just some boy she wanted to fuck. Wasn't just someone to use.

"Are you staying?" Brittany suddenly asked, practically looking at Santana through her eyelashes, as coy as anything, which made Santana almost want to chuckle.

She'd seen Brittany use that look on many a boy she wanted to wrap around her finger. It worked on Santana exactly the same way, but she was still nervous and uneasy about this whole thing. It made her want to claw at her own skin so she could find the real Santana somewhere inside; the one that wasn't scared and embarrassed. The one full of confidence and self-assured swagger. Santana knew she still had those things, she just needed to harness them again.

Watching as Brittany stepped forward Santana let her gaze wander over her. Instead of looking away or disguising the fact she obviously found Brittany attractive, for once she let the other girl see it in her eyes. If Brittany really wanted this, then Santana had to make sure she realised just what it entailed. Not that they'd have to jump into bed together right away; in fact, that idea kind of freaked Santana out more than necessary. She didn't exactly know what to do in bed with another girl, though she could imagine, and had done quite a bit.

"Brit," Santana began as Brittany stopped in front of her. She wasn't sure what she wanted to say, but it didn't seem to matter.

"Let's go make out," Brittany said without hesitation, capturing one of Santana's hands in her own and pulling her towards the stairs that led up to her room.

Santana blinked rapidly and allowed herself to be tugged along, wondering how exactly their roles had become so reversed. She wanted to ask Brittany if she was really ok with this and if she even realised what it all meant, but as they reached Brittany's room she found her mouth had gone dry and she couldn't think much past the fact they'd soon be in a space where there was a bed. It was a bed they'd shared before, as best friends do, but everything was different now – or so Santana felt.

Letting go of Santana's hand Brittany moved around the room, closing her blinds, clearing the bed of pieces of clothing, switching on lamps. Santana watched, still feeling uncertain even though Brittany was acting as if nothing unusual was happening here. Evidently it was only Santana that was freaking out, and she guessed that made sense as Brittany always took everything in her stride. Nothing much fazed Brittany, unless it was something that upset Santana.

"Why are you acting so normal?" Santana asked, feeling decidedly silly for being so tense.

Brittany stopped what she was doing – pushing soft toys from her pillow – and looked at Santana as if she'd just grown another head for asking such a question.

"Why shouldn't I?" she queried with a shrug and a smile.

Santana shook her head, unable to find the right words that would share just how crazy she thought it was for them to be contemplating this. Obviously Brittany wasn't thinking along the same lines and clearly crazy was not what this was for her.

"Sit down with me?" Brittany then asked, still smiling as Santana hovered by the door.

With a shuffle, Brittany moved onto her bed, though she reclined back on her pillows so she was more laying than sitting. It made Santana swallow hard and then roll her eyes at herself for being such an obvious newbie at this. It wasn't as if she hadn't been in this situation a ton of times before; in all innocence with Brittany, and in less than innocent situations with guys she'd used and abused in the past. It was stupid for her to be feeling so out of her depth.

Gritting her teeth and reaching into herself to find the confidence she knew was in there somewhere, Santana sauntered over to the bed, doing her best to look as nonchalant as she could. Her gaze travelled up Brittany's legs as the skirt to her Cheerio uniform rode up a little with her position. As if noticing, Brittany bent her knee so it slid even further up. It was all Santana could do then to walk in a straight line without tripping over as she finally reached the bed.

Brittany was smiling up at her and Santana frowned, angry with herself for not being the one in control. She felt petulant and moody and as she sat back on the pillows next to Brittany she folded her arms and scowled, refusing to look at Brittany's face any longer – the trust and tenderness she saw there was just too much to handle right now.

She felt the bed dip and Brittany moved, turning towards Santana so she was resting on her elbow.

"Relax," Brittany said, her voice taking on a reassuring quality as if she were talking down a jumper from the roof of a building.

Santana was so far removed from relaxed it wasn't even funny. Half of her wanted to dive out of the window and run home, and the other half of her wanted to press Brittany down into the mattress and have her way with her. Torn this way and that by her emotions, she couldn't imagine that relaxing was anywhere within her grasp right now.

When she felt Brittany's fingers trailing softly over her arm, stroking lightly, Santana nearly jumped out of her skin. She was being ridiculous, she knew, but this was weird and worrying, and frightening. She wanted Brittany but there was still that nagging voice in her head telling her it was wrong to want such things, and that she'd be somehow taking advantage of Brittany's friendship.

Santana needed to get a handle on this situation. There had to be a way she could regain her control.

"Ok, we need some rules," Santana blurted, turning more towards Brittany as Brittany's fingers continued to whisper over her skin. "If we're gonna . . . go there," she said, for want of a better way to describe things, "then you need to know it's not serious. We're not gay, and we're not gonna be gay together. It'll just be . . ."

"Santana," Brittany interrupted, "I don't care what we are, I just know I like you, and that I think about you a lot. I think about you not wearing clothes a lot. Like . . . all the time."

She gazed into Santana's eyes and if it were possible Santana felt that little bit better. They'd both been thinking the same things apparently. The tension in Santana's shoulders released slightly and she allowed her gaze to fall to Brittany's lips; she wanted to kiss them, to taste them. Santana could feel her stomach starting to flutter as she drifted closer to Brittany, the barriers she'd placed around herself finally beginning to crack as she gave in to what she needed.

This could be ok. They could be ok if they just allowed it to happen and didn't try to stick a label to it, or to themselves. If she didn't dwell on the fact she'd fallen for Brittany and taking this step was a huge risk.

Of course, Santana was fooling herself just a little as the labels were already there; she'd started thinking of herself as at least bi already, but Brittany didn't need to know that. And she didn't need to know of how much Santana cared for her, as more than a friend. At least this way she'd keep some measure of control.

Control felt good.

Taking a steadying breath, Santana finally found the well of confidence inside herself that she'd lost track of. Brittany wanted her; it was clear in her eyes, lidded and heavy, and the way her lips were parted, ready for Santana to take them. Seeing it so easily, so clearly in front of her made her feel more certain of how she felt herself. Made her feel almost powerful.

Giving Brittany a quick grin, Santana moved suddenly, throwing herself up over Brittany so she was straddling her on the bed, her hands resting either side of Brittany's head.

"Don't tell anybody about this," Santana warned, lowering herself closer to Brittany, almost moaning as she felt Brittany's hips twitch up to meet her own. "And . . . it's just about sex, nothing else," she lied, bringing her lips close to Brittany's.

"Ok," Brittany said softly, looking up at Santana with complete trust.

The last of Santana's resolve slipped away when Brittany's hand reached up to touch her face, fingers gentle. Almost too gentle.

This was about more than sex and she could see it in Brittany's eyes, but she didn't say anything as she brought their lips together in a clash of frantic need and pent up desire that had them both breathing hard in an instant.

Control definitely felt good.

TBC…


	9. Chapter 9

**Warning: This chapter contains mature content. **

Chapter Nine

The soft slide of Brittany's lips against Santana's made them both sigh with a mix of relief and arousal. Their mouths took small kisses at first, getting used to the intimacy. Getting used to this new feeling as they discovered how those small kisses could quickly have them both squirming with the need to deepen them.

Santana held herself over Brittany, feeling her heart pounding against Brittany's chest as she sucked lightly on her lower lip before flicking her tongue out in a request she didn't need to voice. Brittany smiled and Santana flicked her tongue again, catching Brittany's upper lip with it before slowly sliding it into her mouth as her request was accepted. She couldn't quite hold back the soft moan that clearly indicated how much she'd wanted this, but Brittany wasn't complaining.

Wrapping her arms around Santana, Brittany brought her even closer. They pressed together as Brittany's hands ran over Santana's back and their tongues tangled and danced in a kiss that could now only be called hungry. Teasing sighs from each other with open kisses and quickly eager hands, both girls lost themselves. Santana let her fears go and just felt; Brittany's warmth and the sensual slide of her tongue in her mouth making everything seem ok. Right now she couldn't care less what this made them or what the consequences might be.

When they broke away for air she licked her lips and tasted Brittany on them - lip-gloss and the hint of butter from the popcorn. It made her instantly want more and Santana was thankful that Brittany was already pulling her close once again with a firm hand on the back of her neck.

"Don't stop," Brittany murmured against Santana's mouth before their lips met again and they began the whole tour again.

Santana had made out with a lot of people – too many to count – but she'd never felt like this. Never had kissing made her blood run hot and her body itch with wanting in the same intense way, and Brittany seemed to be feeling the same. They delved into each other's mouths, lips almost bruising each other as they began to grasp at clothing that was clearly in the way.

The small sounds Brittany was making began to drive Santana wild and she slid a hand up Brittany's thigh, pushing under her short skirt so she could touch flesh she'd never touched before on the other girl. With her fingers gripping Brittany's outer thigh, Santana shifted her position so she had one leg between Brittany's, bringing them even closer. The change seemed to encourage Brittany and before Santana could protest she found herself on her back with Brittany lying on top of her.

She was about to regain control and get back on top – which is where she spent most of her time in these situations – but the tongue in her mouth and the thigh between her legs made anything but enjoying the sudden change impossible. Clearly Brittany had been in need of this kind of contact between them for some time; she was trying desperately to slip her hand under Santana's top, but their extreme closeness and the fact her top was rather tight made it much too difficult.

"Wait," Santana requested, the breathless cadence making her sound like some kind of porn star.

"Don't wanna wait," Brittany insisted as she trailed kisses over Santana's jaw and neck, causing Santana's eyes to roll back in her head as she marvelled at Brittany's talented mouth.

She almost forgot what she'd been trying to suggest, but Brittany's grumble about her tight top as her fingers failed to disappear under it once again brought her back to herself.

"Let me take it off," Santana said, pushing Brittany back slightly so she'd have room.

Maybe this was about to get out of hand - quickly rushing from making out to something more serious without so much as a stop in-between – but Santana didn't want to stop now. She wanted to push past all the anxiety she had inside her. She wanted to be as close to Brittany as she could, and even though she didn't know exactly what they were doing or were going to do . . . she was happy to just let it happen regardless.

"I should lock my door," Brittany warned just as Santana grabbed hold of the bottom of her shirt, ready to tug it off.

"Why? I thought you said your parents would be home late?" Santana asked, with an exasperated furrow of her brow.

"I did," Brittany answered, moving off Santana and making her way over to the door. "But then they called and they'll be home soon."

From the bed, Santana just stared at Brittany, her mouth open but no words coming out.

"We can still . . ." Brittany began, noticing the way Santana was gawking at her.

"No," Santana interrupted. "We can't."

She didn't want to start this knowing that Brittany's parents were going to come home any minute. Normally the prospect of parents walking in on her getting her groove on with somebody didn't faze her, but this was different. She didn't want anybody knowing about this.

"But I thought you wanted to," Brittany said, pouting a little as she came back over to the bed.

"I do," Santana admitted quietly, avoiding Brittany's gaze as she did so.

She could still taste Brittany on her lips and her body was buzzing and desperate for contact, but Brittany's parents had always been good to her and the prospect of them coming home to find her groping their daughter was not a pleasant one.

"And don't do that, it's distracting," Santana said as Brittany continued to pout.

"Do what?" she asked as she crawled back onto the bed.

Brittany moved towards her, her body quickly finding Santana's and resting down right next to her.

"The pouting," Santana clarified.

"I don't pout," Brittany tried to say, but before she finished Santana grabbed Brittany's full bottom lip with her own and suckled it softly.

"Don't pout," Santana warned with a growl before letting her teeth grasp said pout lightly. She nibbled for a moment before kissing it tenderly.

They smiled against each other's mouths then, the sudden tension giving way to the comfortableness of friends, even though Brittany's hand was beginning to wander back under Santana's top again.

With a sigh Santana pulled away, willing her heart to stop racing and her mind to stop imagining all they could get up to together whilst on Brittany's bed.

"We can't," Santana reminded. She removed Brittany's questing fingers from her body.

"Sometimes, I don't like you," Brittany said, sighing and flopping on to her back.

She crossed her arms over her chest and Santana almost burst out laughing; Brittany hated not getting her own way.

"You like me way too much to stay mad," Santana jibed, glancing quickly towards the door and then back to Brittany.

Maybe they could fool around a little longer, just as long as Brittany would allow them to stop when her parents came home. With a smirk, Santana once again threw her leg over Brittany to straddle her, resting her weight a little on the girl below as she looked down from where she was now sitting.

Brittany still had her arms crossed but she wasn't pouting as much now.

"If you promise to stop when I ask, I'll let you touch me," she told Brittany, and once again she felt the familiar surge of confidence go through her. She'd said that quite a few times in her life so far after all – though this time she actually wanted the touch and it wasn't just about making herself more popular.

The large smile on Brittany's face encouraged Santana and she took a breath to steady her hands before gripping the bottom of her top and pulling it off. She was wearing a bra but Brittany's eyes still went wide.

Throwing her top to the side, Santana grinned down at Brittany, watching as Brittany unfolded her arms and tentatively stroked her fingers over Santana's stomach. Brittany's thumbs brushed over her abdomen as she slid her hands to Santana's sides and Santana could feel herself getting wet with anticipation. Brittany's hands were so soft and gentle, and nothing like the grabbing hands of her ex lays.

Within moments she was breathing quicker again and lowering herself to Brittany's mouth, kissing her with renewed abandon. The throbbing between her legs was kind of embarrassing; she'd never been turned on so easily before. She needed Brittany between her legs. She needed friction, fingers, maybe Brittany's tongue if she'd dare.

Those thoughts really weren't helping her to maintain control, and as Brittany's fingers brushed across her breasts over her bra she knew she was in serious trouble. Santana had always been eager for sex and had never shied away from getting what she wanted, even if it did mostly just disappoint her, and now that she'd let the haze of arousal descend on her so rapidly she realised she was about to lose all hope of holding back.

"Fuck," she gasped as Brittany's fingertips tripped over her hard nipples.

"You told me we couldn't," Brittany mumbled against the skin at Santana's throat where she was busy kissing and sucking lightly.

The ache at Santana's now decidedly wet sex made her unable to focus or grasp for restraint. She needed this. She needed this from Brittany.

"Do you want to?" she asked Brittany huskily, making sure.

"Yes," Brittany answered just as breathless, trailing one hand down Santana's stomach, her fingernails biting softly at her skin. "I want to touch you."

Santana groaned and moved her hips against Brittany's, shuddering when Brittany pushed up against her in the same way. It wasn't enough and Santana bit her lower lip, pausing for just a moment before giving in completely and unclasping her bra. She flung it on top of her already discarded shirt and crashed her mouth back to Brittany's when warm hands engulfed her breasts.

No boy had ever touched her this well and they hadn't even started yet. Brittany's thumbs brushed circles around Santana's nipples as she groped her thoroughly and Santana moaned into her mouth, bucking against Brittany as she felt her panties growing damper by the second. When one hand moved around to her ass to squeeze and pull her harder against Brittany, she almost came right then and there.

Months of imagining this, of wanting it, of hating herself for wanting it had Santana completely at Brittany's mercy. She was trembling and breathing hard and her tough-girl image shattered as she clung to Brittany in a way that felt too much like need and desperation. There was nowhere to go but forward. Nothing to do but give in, and Santana was so close already.

"Brit," she sighed, searching for words she felt almost ashamed of. "I need you to . . . if you want to . . . I just . . ."

She felt stupid and her mind wasn't working. There was a growing tension inside her that needed release and she wanted to ask but couldn't. Santana was still scared of this. Still unsure and worried that it would ruin them for good as friends.

Forcing her eyes open Santana lifted her head to look into Brittany's eyes, hoping the other girl would see the need there so she could spare herself the mortification of having to ask for something she wasn't sure she should be asking for. Fortunately, Brittany was incredibly astute and she smiled softly before whispering her lips over Santana's and moving the hand from her butt. She slid it over Santana's thigh under her skirt, moving her arm between them so she could get to the place Santana needed her most.

When fingertips brushed against Santana's damp panties she moaned against Brittany's lips before relinquishing them to gasp at mouthfuls of air. Brittany teased her over the soft material, pressing just enough for Santana to shudder and sigh. Her pussy was twitching with need and she was about to stop caring about anything other than what she wanted so she could ask for more, but Brittany beat her to it.

Speaking in a sexy tone right in Santana's ear she asked, "Can I make you come, Santana? I wanna make you come."

Santana's stomach flipped and flopped and she dug her nails into Brittany's shoulder where she was clinging to it, nodding vigorously against her neck as she waited for Brittany to take the next step.

All of Santana's breath left her body when Brittany pushed her hand into her panties, fingers slipping easily between her drenched folds. She wanted to be nervous, embarrassed, less obvious in her need but there was no point in fighting now; Brittany had her fingers gently sliding through her pussy and her own wanton moans left no doubt about how much she'd yearned for this.

"Oh fuck," Santana gasped as Brittany rubbed over her swollen clit, circling it and flicking her fingertip over it until Santana was moving against Brittany's hand. She needed to come. She needed to come really, really hard. "Right there," she instructed unnecessarily.

"You feel good," Brittany whispered into Santana's ear.

Her fingers drifted lower, covering them in Santana's fluids before moving back to her clit again. She did it several times and Santana was at breaking point, rolling her hips into Brittany as she felt the tingle deep inside that meant she was about to climax. When Brittany's fingers slipped inside her on one such sweep Santana clenched hard on them, taking them in as far as they would go as she cried out into Brittany's shoulder.

Brittany's name tumbled from her lips as Brittany thrust up into her pussy, filling her and fucking her exactly how she needed. When her body took control and she shook, on the brink of coming over Brittany's fingers, she felt a palm press hard against her clit. It was all she could take and Santana cried out Brittany's name as she came, the fingers sliding deeper inside her as she ground down on them one last time.

She felt Brittany smile against her temple and her pussy twitched around the fingers within, holding them inside until the trembling stopped and Santana could see straight again.

"Jesus Christ," she breathed against Brittany's neck, letting her body rest fully on top of her. "Your fingers are good."

There was a lazy smile on Santana's lips and she moaned with pleasurable aftershocks as Brittany pulled her fingers free of her, her hands sliding over Santana's back as she wrapped her arms around her.

"I liked that," Brittany said softly, stroking her hands over Santana.

"Me too," Santana admitted, kissing Brittany's shoulder and just enjoying the moment. "Just don't tell anybody or I won't do it back to you."

She felt Brittany chuckle underneath her and was about to raise herself up so she could kiss her, but a noise from downstairs indicated that Brittany's parents were home and Santana instantly stiffened up and attempted to remove herself from her arms. But Brittany wouldn't let go.

"Not yet," Brittany implored.

With a groan Santana remained where she was, but there was no way she was going to allow Brittany to keep bossing her around like she had been. Some things were better kept the same, and she would let Brittany know exactly who was in charge again any moment.

As soon as she was able to move that was. Right now, she allowed herself to enjoy the slickness between her legs and the arms around her back.

Just for a while.

TBC…


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

When footsteps began padding upstairs Santana finally extricated herself from Brittany; pulling free and reaching across the bed to grab her top, she quickly tried to regain her composure.

"They won't come in," Brittany assured as her parents moved around not too far from her bedroom door. "They'll just think I've gone to bed."

"I should go," Santana mumbled, feeling suddenly cold as the reality of what had just happened hit her.

Her heart was pounding for an entirely different reason than just a few minutes before. She tried to ignore the delicious tug between her legs that reminded her where Brittany's fingers had just been, but it was almost impossible; she was sticky and warm and still twitching for more.

"Don't," Brittany said softly, laying a hand on Santana's shoulder.

The forlorn tone of Brittany's plea wasn't lost on Santana. She turned around as she sat on the edge of the bed, looking into Brittany's eyes and seeing nothing but hope in their blue depths. Though Santana wanted to ignore the fact she'd do anything for Brittany, she couldn't. If she left now then things would definitely get awkward and she hated the thought that their friendship would never recover. Staying was really her only option if she wanted them to remain friends, and especially if she wanted them to be more than that.

"Ok," Santana said; her voice barely audible. Brittany's face lit up and Santana chuckled – she was already whipped. "But I gets to sleep on the left," she added with a small glare, just to make herself feel a bit better - a bit closer to normal.

There was no doubt she'd sleep on the left as that's the side she always slept when they had a sleep-over, but tonight was different to every one of those previous nights and they both knew it. They'd already crossed a huge line and things would forever be changed.

"I need to go feed my cat and brush her teeth," Brittany said, getting up from the bed as she continued to smile.

Santana nodded, knowing she'd have to use the bathroom too once Brittany's parents were safely behind their own bedroom door.

"Wait," Santana said as Brittany reached for her door handle. "Brittany, you're meant to brush your teeth, not the cats."

"That too," Brittany replied, swishing out of the door before Santana could question her further.

"Don't use the same toothbrush," Santana said as Brittany left to do what she needed, but she knew Brittany hadn't heard her.

Shaking her head, Santana listened to Brittany making her way downstairs. She waited a moment before taking a deep breath and flopping backwards onto the bed – her head was full of Brittany and her body was buzzing with both satisfaction and yearning. Whatever they did next she knew she had to prepare herself mentally for it. Things had leapt ahead so fast Santana was spinning and she wondered if Brittany was feeling as crazy as she was, but Brittany was giving no indication that she expected impending doom from the change in their friendship. She seemed deliriously happy that Santana had given in to her in fact.

Maybe that was a good thing; if they both started freaking out then it would definitely lead to disaster. For once, Brittany's innocent obliviousness was working in their favour. Santana tried to quiet her own uncertainty by making herself think more like Brittany but it was practically impossible – she was still worried about everything that would follow.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Brittany's return and Santana frowned, admonishing herself for spending too long in her deep thoughts and worry yet again. It was pointless trying to convince herself she didn't really want to get into this now, they already _were_ in it.

"You can use the bathroom now, my parents are in bed," Brittany told her as she made her way over to her dresser and began taking off her Cheerios uniform.

Though Santana wanted to stay and watch, she knew she should probably go get washed up for bed or they'd end up doing things she was certain wouldn't be a good idea with Brittany's mom and dad down the hall. They'd have to save that kind of thing for when they were alone in the house. Even though Santana had a reputation she respected Brittany's parents enough not to risk doing anything to piss them off. And having sex with their daughter – lesbian sex – in their house, while they were home, was probably one of those things that parents would do some serious grounding for.

Once she'd washed her face and brushed her teeth with Brittany's toothbrush – really hoping the cat hadn't just had its fish coated tongue all over it - Santana walked carefully back to Brittany's room. She wasn't worried about sleeping over as she'd been there plenty of times before overnight, but for some reason she couldn't help tiptoeing across the hall regardless.

Brushing her fingers through her hair after tugging it out of its ponytail, Santana smiled as she closed the bedroom door behind her and noticed that Brittany was already under the sheets of her bed and snuggling her favourite teddy bear. The smile on Brittany's face was infectious and Santana fought not to grin like an idiot herself, but was only partially successful. Walking over to the dresser where she knew she'd be able to grab a tee shirt for the night, Santana felt unexpectedly shy.

She glanced back at Brittany, who was watching her intently, before slipping her clothes off to the floor and pulling open the top drawer of the dresser. She felt a little strange standing there in just her panties, but before she could reach for a tee shirt Brittany was suddenly behind her, pulling on Santana's hips until she tumbled backwards onto the bed with the blonde girl.

"Eager much?" Santana jibed as Brittany manhandled her, encouraging Santana up to the pillows. Brittany was surprisingly strong.

"I don't want you to put clothes back on," Brittany said by way of explanation as she tugged the sheets back so they could both crawl under.

That's when Santana noticed that Brittany was also wearing nothing more than very small panties. Santana blinked, letting her mouth drop open as she untangled herself from Brittany's long limbs so she could just look at her. Things were getting very real, very fast; there was no doubting this level of attraction now.

"You're almost as hot as I am," Santana said in awe as her gaze swept over Brittany.

"You're way hotter," Brittany said quietly as she trailed a hand over Santana's stomach and up over her side as they lay facing each other.

Santana wasn't going to deny such a thing as she knew she was all kinds of scorching, but she had been robbed of the ability to speak anyway as her tongue wasn't working and her mind was growing fuzzy. There was no way she could sleep next to Brittany with them both practically naked.

"Brit, we have to . . ."

"My parents can sleep through anything," Brittany interrupted, her eyes taking on a decidedly devious and sexy look. "One time, I brought a pony home and kept it in my room without them knowing, and one morning Betsy got out. I found her eating my dad's pyjama bottoms and he didn't even wake up at all."

Giving Brittany a dubious look, Santana plucked the hand away from her ribs before it slid up to her breast, shaking her head as she did her best not to cave in – again.

"They'd kill me if they found us in here gettin' our kink on," she told Brittany. "You're their perfect little princess; they don't wants to walk in on me tonguing you out as if you're an all you can eat buffet."

"That sounds good," Brittany said; her voice all dreamy as she smiled at Santana, completely oblivious to any consequences they would face if caught.

Santana sighed and flopped onto her back, tugging at the sheet so it covered them both. Brittany was right, it did sound good, but apart from the fact she was worried about Brittany's parents . . . she'd obviously never done that to a girl before. Though she certainly wanted to with Brittany and had thought about it many times she was nervous about making a fool of herself. Doing stuff to a boy was easy – she'd certainly had no complaints in the past - but this was a whole new level of sex and she didn't want to disappoint the most important person in her life.

This gay thing was even more complicated than she'd thought.

"It does sound good," Santana agreed with another frustrated sigh. "Really good."

She felt the bed shift as Brittany shuffled closer under the sheet, her hand sliding over Santana's stomach.

"I could do it to you," Brittany practically purred in her ear, making Santana shudder most embarrassingly. "I want to."

With what could only be described as a snarl, Santana turned away from Brittany, squeezing her thighs together in the desperate hope to get control of her raging libido.

"Seriously, Brit," Santana whispered harshly. "Go to sleep. We can't do that right now."

Brittany made a small dissatisfied sound but she didn't move away. Instead, she pressed close to Santana's back, wrapping an arm over her and nuzzling at her shoulder with her nose. Another snarl threatened to slip loose from Santana but she held it in; she couldn't really be mad at Brittany for wanting what she herself had been thinking none stop about for months now.

After a few minutes Santana relaxed a little, enjoying Brittany's embrace and the swell of her soft breasts at her back, and the hand at her stomach that was touching her so gently. It was nice to be held, to feel Brittany's skin against her own, her warmth, the tender brush of lips at her shoulder now and then. It made Santana feel calmer, though her body still craved Brittany in a way that was far from relaxing.

She hoped Brittany would fall asleep soon so she could move a bit further away. Even though she liked being so close to Brittany, Santana needed space to let her body cool off and her own mind to let go of lascivious thoughts so she could go to sleep herself. They had to be up earlier than normal if Santana was going to be able to get home and grab a clean uniform before driving them both to school on time.

But sleep did not come easily.

After what felt like hours but was probably only one, Santana sighed for the hundredth time. Brittany was still pressed against her, as she'd failed to successfully move away, and it was all kinds of distracting. She wasn't even sure if Brittany was asleep either, but neither of them had spoken for some time. Santana had thought it best not to talk as talking would probably lead to kissing, and then to other things she was trying to avoid until they were alone completely again.

She hadn't been able to stop thinking about what they could be getting up to, however, and it was getting beyond frustrating. Santana couldn't possibly clasp her thighs tighter together than they already were, and it was most likely making things worse rather than better. Every time Brittany moved, even slightly, Santana's nipples hardened and she throbbed in need between her legs. But more than that . . . she desperately wanted to touch Brittany. Her hands were practically itching to.

When she blinked open her eyelids and glanced at the clock by the bed, Santana rolled her eyes. It was already well past one o'clock in the morning and she knew she just wasn't going to sleep without sating at least some of her curiosity and need.

Carefully, she rolled over, facing Brittany as she moved slowly. Brittany seemed to be asleep and Santana gazed at her for a few moments in the light coming from an almost full moon outside. There was a small smile on Brittany's lips as she slept and it made Santana's heart clench in her chest. She rolled her eyes once again at herself and shook her head. Really, was it necessary for her to turn into a complete mush ball? She wondered.

Lightly she placed her hand on Brittany's side, letting her fingers touch softly, reverently, her palm stroking over Brittany's ribs and down to her hip. She stopped when she hit the top of Brittany's panties, but her mind began to wander much more freely. She needed this girl in ways that frightened her.

Brushing a tender kiss on Brittany's forehead, Santana then glanced towards the bedroom door, unnecessarily making sure it was still shut. Surely it was less risky to start something this late. Surely Brittany's parents would be so fast asleep that Santana could at least get a little bit of a feel of Brittany.

Making up her mind, Santana smirked to herself and snuggled closer, whispering her fingertips over Brittany's skin, across her back, her side, her stomach, gliding down to her thigh and back again. She licked her lips, glancing at Brittany's mouth and remembering how well she kissed. Santana's breathing was beginning to pick up and she pushed down the sheet slightly, enough to see Brittany's chest and abdomen. She wanted to explore there with her mouth and Santana forgot all about parents and consequences.

Sliding down a little lower in the bed, Santana tripped her fingers over Brittany's thigh as she brushed her lips over her collarbone, tasting the skin there. She wanted more, and she wanted it now.

Surreptitiously, Santana removed herself from Brittany just long enough to slide her own panties off with a grin. There was no way she could deny herself this any longer – she wanted Brittany and was going to have her.

She doubted Brittany would mind at all to find a very naked Santana straddling her in the middle of the night.

TBC…


	11. Chapter 11

**Warning: Contains material of an adult/mature nature.**

**Just like to say a quick thank you for all the feedback and for those of you reading. Thanks for making me smile :)**

Chapter Eleven

Without further ado, Santana found her way back to Brittany in the bed, pressing against her as much as she could and sighing at how good it felt. She let their legs entwine and her hand moved back over Brittany's side, taking in the soft skin of her back as she gently began to roll Brittany over. With only a murmur from Brittany, Santana positioned herself over her as Brittany now lay on her back with her arms out to her sides.

Straddling Brittany, Santana let only a fraction of her weight rest on the girl below as she placed kisses over her collarbones and neck. Santana was already wet and she knew she was leaving her mark right on Brittany's panties but she didn't care. All she could think of right now was doing what she'd wanted to do to Brittany for longer than she cared to admit.

Trailing her kisses lower over Brittany's chest, Santana felt Brittany begin to stir. A quite mumble left Brittany's lips and Santana smiled against the swell of her breast as she continued to explore it with her mouth. She had no intention of stopping, even when Brittany sleepily asked what she was doing.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Santana asked, surprised at how hoarse her own voice was; thick with desire.

She reached Brittany's already hard nipple and took a moment just to feel the sensation of it against her lips before opening her mouth and sucking it inside. Brittany groaned and a hand tangled into Santana's loose hair, urging her to suck harder.

"I thought we couldn't . . ." Brittany began, losing the rest of her sentence when Santana quickly moved her head back up in order to kiss her.

Instantly they were kissing hurriedly, urgently. Santana couldn't hold back and she grabbed at Brittany's breasts with her hands, feeling their weight and then toying with her pink nipples as they grew even stiffer for her touch. They both moaned when Brittany pushed up against Santana, bringing them even closer together. Brittany's panties rubbed against Santana and she ground against them, any shred of self-consciousness flying out of the window as she allowed herself to disappear into the desire they both clearly felt.

"Can I take these off?" Santana asked as she fingered Brittany's panties with one hand.

"Yes please," Brittany responded, keeping her hands on Santana as much as she could as Santana tugged at the panties, rapidly sliding them down Brittany's long legs.

Once they were out of the way, Santana returned to her position on top of Brittany, but instead of straddling her she moved between her legs. They clung closely and sighed, breaths catching as they pressed together in all kinds of intimate places.

It wasn't hard to tell just how wet Brittany was as she allowed Santana to rest between her spread thighs. Santana felt Brittany's arousal coating her and she shuddered as she moved against the blonde girl, feeling that arousal combine with her own as they pushed against one another in their heated clinch.

As Santana sought more friction Brittany reciprocated in kind, rolling her hips into Santana so their lower lips spread open and their pussies messily ground into each other. Santana let out a louder moan as she felt Brittany's clit bumping against her own and she knew she'd probably explode all over Brittany if they kept moving in such a way. Brittany felt so damn good against her and Santana promised herself that they'd visit this particular position again, but there was something else she wanted right now. Something she'd been thinking about all night.

She kissed Brittany thoroughly before moving her mouth down her throat, then to her breasts, kissing and licking and sucking as she went. Brittany reacted to every touch of her lips and Santana loved it; she smiled around the pink nipple in her mouth before scraping her teeth over it and then moving even lower between Brittany's legs.

It was a little strange doing this to a girl – it felt different – but it was good. Santana couldn't allow nervousness to get in the way when she wanted this so badly.

Taking the sheet down with her, Santana grinned as Brittany spread her thighs wider for her, giving herself completely to Santana in a way that made Santana giddy.

"So sexy," she mumbled against Brittany's hip as she kissed there, trailing her lips slowly to Brittany's inner thigh.

She sucked on the flesh between Brittany's inner thigh and her clearly soaked sex and took a moment to compose herself. She was really going to do this. Like really, and not just in her mind. Santana swallowed and allowed her gaze to roam over Brittany, taking in the quick rise and fall of her stomach as she breathed, the cute little belly button, then lower to the small strip of blonde between her legs. As she spread wide for Santana it was obvious that she was very aroused; her pussy was glistening in the moonlight and Santana licked her lips, preparing herself to taste her best friend.

Taking a shuddering breath and moaning at the delicate scent that made her want this even more, Santana moved closer, kissing open-mouthed over Brittany's sex. She instantly felt Brittany's fluids coat her lips and she tasted them with a wanton groan of approval. Sucking slightly, Santana grabbed on to Brittany's hips and took as much of Brittany into her mouth as she could. It was delicious and so much hotter than she'd ever imagined.

"Oh, that's good," Brittany mumbled as a hand found its way to Santana's head, fingers disappearing into her dark hair. "I wanna come in your mouth."

Santana's stomach flipped about and she moaned into Brittany's flesh, more than happy to oblige. The fact that Brittany was so open to this, so ready for her, made Santana just about burst with feelings of lust, and love, for the girl squirming around now for her tongue.

Grinning, Santana flicked her tongue over Brittany, testing where Brittany liked to be touched and how hard. She quickly found the best way to make Brittany gasp and sigh and worked at her wet pussy until Brittany was a trembling mess. She teased and then sucked at her clit, fingers gripping at Brittany's thighs as Brittany scratched at her scalp and arched off the bed into her mouth. This was fun, and apparently Santana was pretty good at it if Brittany's inability to stay quiet was any indication.

Brittany had done her best to muffle herself by throwing an arm over her face, biting on it now and then. Santana couldn't help but lift her gaze to watch, overwhelmed by how much the sight had her body screaming for its own means of release. But that could wait; she needed to do this for Brittany. Wanted to more than anything.

Swirling her tongue over and around Brittany's clit a few more times, Santana could tell that Brittany was perilously close to the edge. She didn't want this to end just yet, however, needing to take even more from Brittany first.

Pushing her shoulders further under Brittany's thighs, Santana dropped her tongue lower, tasting even more of Brittany's arousal as it flowed from her. She reached the source, dipping into it teasingly. When Brittany groaned in frustration Santana pushed her tongue inside her just a little, just enough to feel Brittany's pussy yield to her as her fingers pulled at her hair. She took a moment to enjoy the sensation of being inside Brittany, wriggling her tongue and tasting even more of the wet warmth flowing into her mouth.

She couldn't help but push herself into the mattress, desperate for some friction to ease her own arousal, but she was trying not to become distracted by her own need. Sliding deeper into Brittany, Santana felt every shudder and tremble of the other girl and she began to tongue her hole with abandon, thrusting into Brittany quicker and quicker.

"Oh, Santana," Brittany began to chant, her sighs now filling the room though she was still trying to muffle herself.

Any moment and Brittany was going to do exactly what she'd wanted to – come in Santana's mouth. The very idea of it made Santana push even deeper inside Brittany's tight hole, as far as her tongue would reach as she fucked her with it. She let go of Brittany's thigh with one hand, moving it so she could start rubbing over Brittany's clit with her thumb in the same delicious rhythm. It had the desired effect and within no time at all Brittany was shuddering to orgasm, her hands now both gripping on to Santana.

With a final push inside Brittany, Santana felt her stiffen and come undone. Thrusting up into Santana, Brittany came hard, throwing a hand over her own mouth just in time as she called out Santana's name. The taste of her and the sensation of Brittany's pussy tightening around her tongue had Santana teetering on the verge of her own climax and she shoved a hand underneath herself, slipping her fingers easily over her own clit and pushing herself over the edge with Brittany.

She moaned into Brittany's pussy as she came against her fingers, which made Brittany jerk up into her again as she shook and called out Santana's name for a second time.

"Fuck," Brittany sighed, breathing hard as her hands tugged at Santana's shoulders, encouraging her to come up for air.

Pulling her tongue from Brittany, Santana grinned as she lapped at her, drinking down all that Brittany had to offer. She realised pretty quickly that she wouldn't be able to get enough of this; Santana hoped Brittany wouldn't mind the fact she'd want to eat her out on a daily basis.

Humming in satisfaction, Santana finally began to make her way back up Brittany's body when the fingers pulling at her became more insistent. She kissed her way up heated skin, tasting salt and sex and loving it.

"You're really, really good at that," Brittany all but purred, the smile on her face almost goofy.

"Yeah?" Santana asked, looking into Brittany's eyes as she settled between her legs.

"We need to do that a lot," Brittany responded, wiping at Santana's chin with her thumb. "And I definitely need to do it to you."

Santana groaned sensually at the thought and sucked Brittany's thumb into her mouth, cleaning it of the juices Brittany had just been wiping away.

"A lot," Santana agreed, letting the thumb go so she could kiss Brittany.

They let their tongues play together for long minutes at a time and Santana could feel her body starting to respond again as she pressed into Brittany. They were slick against each other, intimately close and in danger of letting the whole night slip by without a wink of sleep, but Santana knew if they didn't stop now then they'd probably end up waking Brittany's parents with the noise for sure. It wouldn't be a very good idea if they ever hoped for more 'sleep-overs'.

"We needs to get our sleep on," Santana pointed out, though she kept kissing over Brittany's mouth and jaw.

"But this is so nice," Brittany complained, running her hands up and down Santana's back, occasionally squeezing her butt and rubbing her pussy up into Santana's, causing them both to gasp and sigh in pleasure. "You should just . . . come right on my pussy."

Santana groaned, partially in frustration, and buried her face into the pillow next to Brittany. It sounded like a wonderful plan, but they had to stop.

"Not fair, Brit," she mumbled into the pillow. "Not fucking fair."

With a monumental effort Santana rolled off Brittany and sprawled out next to her on her back, every bit as turned on as she was sated. Brittany turned to her side to face Santana, her hand finding Santana's hip under the light sheet and pulling her closer possessively.

"We don't have to sleep yet," Brittany insisted, kissing Santana's shoulder.

"We do," Santana pointed out. "We have early practice and I have to go home first."

"Maybe we can just go late," Brittany tried as she snuggled closer, a long leg sliding up over Santana. "We can blame the heat if Sue gets mad."

"Sue _will_ get mad, not _if_," Santana pointed out. "And how exactly can we blame the heat?"

Her fingers ran up and down Brittany's thigh and she basked in the scent of sex that surrounded them, tempting her to just let Brittany do whatever she wanted to do to her.

Brittany scrunched up her brow before answering, "We can say it melted your car."

Raising an eyebrow, Santana looked into Brittany's eyes, seeing a glint of mischief there that made her shake her head and chuckle.

"Maybe we can say it melted your brain," Santana joked, poking Brittany in the ribs.

"No, that already happened to the tin man, or maybe it was the lion," Brittany corrected. "Anyway, if we're late at least we won't have to do practice in the sun and get all wrinkly and gross. Oh! I have an idea!" Brittany finally blurted, waking Santana from the snooze she'd just began to drift into.

Brittany sat up, looking down at Santana excitedly.

"Ok, what is it?" Santana asked with a yawn.

"We can get Puck to pretend to be my dad," she answered with a satisfied smile.

"What?" Santana questioned, perking up a little. "Why would that help?"

"He can call us in sick, silly," Brittany explained as if it were obvious. "Then we could spend all day together."

It didn't actually sound like a bad plan, but there was just one problem.

"Puck would ask too many questions," Santana pointed out.

"So we'll just tell him we wanna spend all day making out, naked," Brittany proudly exclaimed.

Spluttering a little, Santana shot to a sitting position next to Brittany, her eyes wide as she stared at the other girl.

"You wanna tell him we'd be making out? Maybe your brain _did_ melt."

Brittany's smile dropped at that and she glanced away from Santana, a small pout threatening to spoil the mood. Santana instantly knew it was her fault, but really . . . she hadn't even begun to think about telling people about them already. That was a whole new world of pain she had yet to get her head around. She'd hoped they could spend some time just being together first before crossing that particular bridge.

"Do you not want to be with me?" Brittany asked quietly, making Santana's heart twang in her chest in a way that was not exactly pleasant.

After taking a second to figure out how she could get Brittany to understand, Santana placed a hand on her shoulder so Brittany would turn back to look at her.

"I do," Santana assured. "But I don't know if I'm ready to tell other people yet. Can we just . . . wait a while before we do that?"

"But you'll want to do that?" Brittany asked, her blue eyes cutting deep into Santana.

"One day," Santana answered after a moment's thought.

Her voice was barely a whisper and she knew Brittany would be able to tell how scared she was. She hoped Brittany could understand that she wasn't as brave as she sometimes made out to be.

"Ok then," Brittany said, equally as quietly. "We won't tell until you're ok with it."

"Thank you," Santana said, running a hand up and down Brittany's arm.

They laid down again, a little more tension in the air than was there before, which made Santana bite on her lower lip and wish she was a more like Brittany. This anxiousness inside her wasn't healthy, or cool.

"Just so you know," Brittany began after a few minutes had passed. "I don't care who knows."

She moved as close to Santana as she could get and Santana allowed it, wrapping an arm around Brittany and smiling as a leg drifted between her own.

"I know," Santana responded, kissing Brittany on the forehead and closing her eyes, thankful that at least one of them was strong enough to deal with the things they'd have to face.

"And also," Brittany began, speaking into Santana's neck and waking her just as she'd finally felt sleep begin to take her, "I'm in love with you."

Santana was sure her heart skipped a beat and she couldn't breathe for a second, but Brittany just kissed her shoulder and smiled against her as if it had been the easiest thing in the world to say. Santana knew it wasn't as she couldn't open her own mouth to say it back. Instead, she pulled Brittany closer and gripped her tightly; hoping Brittany could feel the words she couldn't yet say.

"You're just in love with my tongue," Santana finally uttered once her heart had stopped racing and making her dizzy.

She always reverted to sarcasm and jokes when she was nervous. Brittany knew her well enough to understand that.

"I wanna make babies with your tongue," Brittany said with a sleepy chuckle. "You can put it inside me whenever you want, just in case you didn't already know," she added.

Santana could feel Brittany grin against her shoulder and she chuckled along with her, thinking about putting her tongue back inside Brittany as soon as she could.

"Let's stay home tomorrow," Santana suggested. "We can say that the heat melted my car, and you melted my brain."

They were both smiling now, holding each other close as they shut their eyes and relaxed, the threat of Sue Sylvester doing nothing to dislodge naughty thoughts from Santana's mind. She had Brittany now and she planned to enjoy her as much as she could before the world closed in around them and forced them to either walk in the light together or hide in the shadows.

She knew she could never keep Brittany in the shadows, however, so really . . . the world would just have to deal. Eventually.

Relenting to the way she felt and how it would change everything, Santana turned to Brittany and whispered into her hair, daring to let go.

"I love you," she said, a tremble in her voice.

She felt Brittany's arms tighten around her and knew she'd made the right decision.

"I know," Brittany responded, placing a soft kiss on Santana's chin. "I love you too."

They may have just been words but they made Santana feel stronger; more prepared for the harsh reality of high school, parents, and the pressures they'd face. Surely it would all be worth it, and hell . . . the sex was going to make up for all the rest of the crap headed their way so all in all there was more to look forward to than fear.

Whatever happened, they had each other.

And Puck was so going to pass out or hyperventilate over this, which made Santana's evil side grin and rub its hands together.

Oh, they could have some fun with this one day, when they were ready.

It was just a matter of time.

**The End**


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